Accidental cosleepers

Reading through all the leaflets and general information we were given out in hospital this time, I noticed something that I found odd. Every piece of advice about feeding your baby said to feed your baby and immediately put them back into their Moses basket or crib, feet at the bottom. Sounds easy, right?! Except the majority of babies absolutely will not settle in a Moses basket easily. You rock them for an hour until you're sure they're asleep and then gently place them down into their basket and immediately their little eyes ping open. I remember getting so frustrated with Henry in the early days, or should I say nights, when he Just. Wouldn't. Sleep. I'd read all that advice in books and in the information packs that they give out in hospital and didn't understand why my baby didn't do as he was supposed to. Why didn't he love his beautiful white John Lewis Moses basket as much as I did? I could go on about those sleep deprived nights but that's not that point. Ultimately that's what drove us, and millions before us, to cosleeping. So surely instead of just the standard advice of always placing a baby down in their crib after a feed, we ought to also be helping new mummies to cosleep safely since the majority of parents resort to it at some stage after having a baby. I'm sure all too many fall asleep in the middle of the night with their babies in bed with them under the covers or next to pillows. Or even worse, on the sofa. They're tired. They've had no advice other than to put the baby in that crib which actually turned out to be an impossible task, so who could blame them? Anyway, that's a rant for another day and not the point in this blog post. All I'd say is, read up on the safe sleep guidelines before having a baby. A bedside crib is absolutely the safest place for your baby, but you can cosleep safely too, and after a serious lack of sleep, there's a good chance you'll end up doing it at some point, so it's better to be safe than sorry. 

Cosleeping was never part of the plan in our house, I don't think it very often is really, but a while after having Henry it was something that just happened gradually when we realised that we all desperately needed some sleep and this was the only way that any of us were getting any. We were all grouchy, baby included, Mr B was back at work and struggling with the lack of sleep, I was at home struggling with the lack of sleep and it was then, one nap time, that I discovered that cosleeping actually made our baby sleep! I was finally able to nap for longer than 15 mins in the daytime which is where it made the biggest difference to begin with. 

As Henry grew up his sleep didn't really improve and he'd wake up at night asking to be in with us. Again we resisted as much as we could, but the reality was we could sit on the floor next to his bed for an hour to get him back to sleep (several times a night), or we could put him in our bed where he'd be asleep in literally 10 seconds and the next we'd hear from him would be in the morning. It then became like musical beds in our house really ,Henry always started off the night in his bed and we would be in ours, but Henry and I usually woke up in the spare room together so that Mr B could get a decent sleep before going to work too. The bed in the spare room saved our sanity many a time. So that's how things have been for us for the past couple of years and it's been fine. Every night sees a different sleeping arrangement but we all get the maximum amount of sleep possible and everyone's happy, especially Henry. 

Roll on getting pregnant and I was worried about how we'd manage with a toddler who liked to be in bed with his mummy and a baby that needed feeding throughout the night. I tried not to think about it too much, aware of how quickly toddlers could change and naively thought that Henry might be happily sleeping all night in his room by the time his baby brother or sister was born. Except he wasn't. So on our first night home from hospital Mr B and I had a quick 'how are we going to play this?' conversation before bed....there's nothing like some forward planning and organisation is there?! Henry ended up sleeping with his daddy for a lot of that night and I was in the double bed in the nursery with Archie. It seemed like the perfect solution for now and we assumed night 2 would be the same....until Henry was sick in bed at 10pm and desperately needed his mummy. And I desperately needed to be there to cuddle my poorly little boy. Except I had another little boy who also desperately needed me for my milk. So there I was in the nursery in a bed covered in towels nursing Archie two hourly throughout the night, hand sanitising like never before in case he got ill and then mopping up sick and cuddling a poorly little boy in between feeds. Mr B obviously helped as much as he could with the sick but the reality was that neither child needed him, they both needed me. At the same time. Welcome to being a mummy of two!! I cried a bit, told myself to get a grip and we all got the most sleep we could that night, again thanks to some good old cosleeping. And since then Henry's generally started off the night in his bed and come in with me once he's woken up in the night. I've had Archie in his cot on one side and Henry cuddled in on the other. And do you know what? It's been absolutely lovely. I've missed spending time with just Henry and in the night after I've fed Archie and he's finally sleeping soundly again, there's nothing nicer than turning over and snuggling into my biggest baby for 5 minutes. Watching his chest rise and fall, stroking his blonde curls and listen to his sleep-talking murmurs as he instinctively snuggles back in to his mama. I'm not sure what is so wrong about meeting the needs of your child, and if that need is simply to be close to you while they're so small, then so be it.  I'm so glad that Henry doesn't feel pushed out or left out in any way and wonder whether his lack of jealousy is down to the fact that he feels happy and secure in the knowledge that nothing has changed since his brother came along, we adore him the same as always. He's allowed to sleep in with us if he needs to or wants to, and we're getting plenty of time to snuggle too. I feel like we're coping better with parenthood this time around too because we're all getting sleep this time. I'm napping with both boys pretty much every afternoon for a couple of hours and then sleeping as well as I can through the night, especially since Archie is considerably better than his brother was in the newborn days and also because we've ditched the Moses basket in favour of a Sleepyhead in the cot. If Archie's having a bad night, I don't think twice about having him in with me and I'm not up and down the stairs to Henry all night either. 

Mr B has been able to get a decent amount of sleep during the week before work and it means that he does the early shift on a weekend while I spend the morning in bed, like I have done since Henry was born. It might not work for everyone, but it works for us, and having my spare bed full of my little boys has been way way nicer than I ever thought it could be. 

One of these days neither of them will need me as desperately as they've both needed me this past fortnight and I know that then I'll give anything to be back where we are now, snuggled up together in one bed, nap time after nap time, night after night. 

Our night time reality, captured by Mr B as he delivered our overnight drinks before going to sleep himself! Henry and I in the big bed, Archie tucked up in his Sleepyhead next to us. 

* If anyone tries to tell you that they'll still be in your bed when they're teenagers or that they won't be able to ever fall asleep independently or sleep on their own, just ignore them. I slept in my mum's bed for years but I stopped eventually and I've never had any issue with falling asleep on my own. Just love your babies, sleep safely and ignore crappy advice from well-meaning friends and relatives. 

Week two - newborn life

My tiny little newborn isn't so tiny anymore. His little legs are starting to unfold and he's changing every day. Here's his two week update...

Weight - Archie now weighs 9lb 15oz as of today, taking himself from the 75th centile up to the 91st. Impressive work in 2 weeks!! He's obviously going to be nice and chubby like his big brother was and I'm hoping it'll mean I'll lose my weight nice and quickly too. 

Appointments - The health visitor came out to us on Thursday and weighed Archie and checked all was okay. We don't see him again until 6 weeks now. We also saw the midwife to be officially discharged and for her to weigh Archie so that's the last time we'll see the midwives now which makes me a tiny bit sad. Why does the time go so quickly!?

Milestones - Archie had his first ever bath a week ago and absolutely loved it which is great. I was really prepared for him to scream the house down but he didn't and he was totally silent the second he was in the warm water.

Personality - He's still Mr Delicious and really easy as long as he's fed. He's doing amazingly with his sleep and is super alert in the day now, although he does still sleep for the majority of the time. He doesn't mind being put down on his play mat or in his swingy chair for around 10 minutes at a time and seems to enjoy tummy time too. Another hit this week is the Boba wrap which he settles in so well (again, only as long as he's had a nice big feed prior to going in!). I did a big food shop with him in it and he slept the entire time which I was so relieved about....I'd had visions of having to abandon a whole trolley full of food half way around the shop because of a tiny baby screaming blue murder!!

Feeding - Feeding is going well and although it's still slightly sore when he initially latches, it's nothing to how it was last week. I had a blocked duct this week though which was so beyond painful. I never had anything like that with Henry in the two years that I fed him so I really wasn't expecting it. I spent the entire evening sobbing as I tried to totally empty it and feed Archie from that side; total agony. With some heat and hand expression it seems to have gone though, thank goodness! 

Sleep - So good for such a little one. Except for one night which wasn't so good this week, he's woken up twice for a feed between around 10pm when I take him up to bed, and about 7am when he or Henry wakes up (and inevitably wakes the other one up). He's generally doing 3-3.5 hour stretches of sleep and then feeding for around half an hour before sleeping again. I really can't complain for a baby so little even though I am still pretty exhausted! He's napping lots during the day still but we've been trying to have a nice long nap altogether on an afternoon and for this we usually have to cosleep to get longer than an hour out of him. Henry adores having his baby brother with us at naptime everyday and it makes my heart happy to be able to lie with my beautiful little boys, one under each arm, for a few hours every afternoon. 

Days out - We've had a busy week with it being Henry's birthday so lots of days out this week. Mr B and I went for a nice quiet lunch followed by some shopping one lunchtime while Henry was at Marmar's, accompanied by little Archie of course! We've also been to Henry's Little Farmers class followed by a farm shop brunch, to a little play centre called Tiny Town, out for a pub tea with all the family and then Archie and I went for a super posh lunch for a friend's birthday to Six at the Baltic on Friday which was lovely too. We then had Henry's birthday party at the leisure centre yesterday which was the last of his birthday celebrations. Aside from all that we have also had plenty of time at home together for naps and snuggles. Daddy is back to work this week so I'm sure it'll be a lot quieter.

Family life - Henry is still loving his role as big brother and has been a total angel again all week. He's such a big helper, genuinely, and I'm so proud of how he's been these past few weeks. We did manage to escape one afternoon this week, just the two of us, for an hour while Archie slept at home which was so lovely. Nowhere exciting, just Aldi baby event and Morissons for clothes, but it was so nice having both hands free for Henry and being able to hold his hand and chat to him like always without worrying about holding a car seat or feeding Archie or whatever. I do miss our days 'just us', so an hour shopping with my biggest boy felt like a real treat. He spent the day yesterday saying to his brother, "Simba I'm so glad you are born" - just gorgeous. 

A week postpartum - I'm still feeling really good and minus the blocked duct issue this week, I have felt totally fine really. I've lost another 2lb meaning I have 9lb to go to be back to my Christmas weight. I'm loving losing weight whilst still eating cake because I'm hungry ALL the time and that's not to mention the thirst which hits me every now and again if I've forgotten to drink!! 

And that's it. Probably our last week with a tiny, fresh, curled up newborn baby. I'm trying to enjoy every second, ignoring the part of me that just desperately wants a bath in peace for half an hour and remembering that that will happen again but these newborn days will not. So for now I'm enjoying the cuddles during the night and the cluster feeding on an evening and trying to soak up every last second of my tiny little baby boy.

Henry at 3

I cannot believe that my beautiful baby boy is three today. Three. Those years have whizzed by and yet I don't even remember what my life was like before I knew him. I never imagined that I'd be able to love anyone like I love him and now his baby brother too, being his mummy, just just a mummy, is the greatest privilege and we are so proud of our little Pigwidgeon, our little hen, every single day. Here's his three year update: 

Weight and sizes : Henry now weighs 2 stone, 5 pounds. He's around 95cm tall, although that's increasingly hard to measure these days since he's never actually still for long enough to check! His feet are a size 8 and he mainly wears age 2-3 clothes still, although he's moving in to some 3-4 things now too. 

Routine: We haven't got a strict routine as such since I've been on maternity leave for the last few months, but generally Henry will wake around 7ish and he goes to bed around 8. The lovely thing about him is how flexible he is with napping. Some days he has no nap if we're busy or if we want him to be in bed early that night, other days he has a short car nap and then other days he'll have two or three hours sleep in bed at home. I absolutely love our afternoon sleeps together and I'm not quite ready to give them up just yet. He's no longer majorly grumpy if he hasn't napped so it's nice to have a choice every day about his routine. 

Food: He's still a great eater and has a massive appetite. When people talk about having little boys that they just can't fill, I totally get it! He has a real sweet tooth and is particularly fond of 'circle biscuits' (party rings) and 'Kats' (Kit Kats) at the moment. He loves fish and any meat, potatoes and any fruit is still a hit. Generally so easy to feed wherever we are which is great.

Sleep: As long as he's allowed in with me for a snuggle in the night, his sleep is good! If he was to cosleep all night, I doubt he'd ever even wake up at all, but he does still start off in his bed in his room and then comes up to us at some point in the night. I really don't mind it and there are nights that I absolutely love having him close to snuggle. He's only this little once, he won't want to share his mummy's bed in ten years time so we're making the most of it and just all trying to get the maximum amount of sleep possible for the time being. 

Milestones/other random things 

• Henry knows and recognises most simple shapes including a square, rectangle, triangle, circle, parallelogram, semi circle and kite. We have a couple of great shape games that he loves to play and for some reason he loves trying to make different shapes with his napkin whenever we're out for dinner! 

• He can count confidently to 20 and can reliably count a set of objects to 10, very rarely making a mistake now. He recognises 2 and 3 objects without needing to count, for example the other day he said at dinner time, "why does daddy have three and mummy have two and me only have one??" (talking about our fajitas!). He's starting to recognise what numbers look like but only really knows 1,2,3 and 10, mainly from games and also from pressing the buttons in lifts!!

• He is now totally potty trained in the day and at night too. He does still wear a pull up at night, mainly because I'm too scared to take it away, but he's had one wet night in the last 2 months so that's pretty good going. 

• He is a total softie and cries at films if they're sad. He absolutely sobbed his heart out at Dumbo but insisted we keep watching to check that Dumbo got to cuddle his mummy at the end. He also cries at The Good Dinosaur when Arlo has to say goodbye to his friend at the end and The Jungle Book was trauma from the word go for him when Mowgli's mummy left him in a basket. Heartbreaking when you're a little boy apparently. Bless him. 

• His memory is totally amazing, he remembers things and places from months before, things you didn't even know he'd seen at the time. He'll watch a film and then recite and act out huge pieces of dialogue later on. That sounds pretty cute until he's playing with other children and you suddenly hear him put on his baddy voice and say (from 101 Dalmatians) "you bang em on the head and I'll do the skinning!". He knows the words to so many of his books off by heart so I'll often find him 'reading' a book to himself or he'll want to tell us or Archie a story. The voices he uses are hilarious and I think he's going to enjoy acting and performing when he's a bit older.

• His favourite things are dinosaurs, playing cars, acting out trains (shouting 'All aboard!' at the top of his lungs and talking about steam and engineers and conductors etc!), farms, all animals but horses in particular, cooking and being outdoors. He's such a busy little boy and playing in the mud, water, sand and exploring outside are definitely some of his favourite things to do. 

• He really hates upsetting us and immediately says sorry if he thinks he's done something wrong. Sitting on the 'naughty step' is absolutely his worst nightmare, so using it as a threat works a treat if he is acting up a little. 

• He is still the calmest and most laid back two year old I know. He absolutely takes after his daddy in that respect and it's meant that the 'terrible twos' have been the absolute opposite of terrible. I could count on one hand the number of real tantrums he's had this year and I don't think any of them have lasted longer than ten minutes. He's such a happy and gentle little boy, I honestly don't know what we ever did to deserve him.

So that's it, a little 3 year blog update on my very favourite 3 year old in the entire world. Here's to his 4th year, may it be as healthy and happy as this last year has been. I can't wait to see where it'll take us.

Week One update

I thought I'd do a little weekly update for the first few weeks on my blog, mainly to remind myself of these beautiful lazy days we're having, but also development type things for Archie and postpartum things for me. I can't believe we've only had him for a week; it feels like I've loved him forever.

Weight - Archie lost 60g (down to 8lb 10oz) at his day 5 midwife appointment which was around 1% of his birth weight. The midwife said that was the equivalent of a big feed or a nappy, so he's pretty much stayed the same which is brilliant, especially when it's normal to lose up to 10%. I think it helps that my milk came in so quickly this time around and he fed like an expert from being minutes old too.

Appointments - The midwife visited us at home on day 3 to check all was well. The house was remarkably calm when she arrived - both boys were fast asleep on the sofa cuddled into me, so we felt particularly smug about that! We then had to take Archie to the hospital for his day 5 check because the midwives were too busy to come to us and he had his heel prick tests done and was weighed too. We just need one more appointment by day 10 and we'll hopefully be discharged. 

Milestones - Archie lost his cord on day 5. Henry was particularly pleased about this as he really didn't like it at all when we were doing nappy changes etc.

Personality - So far he seems pretty laid back. He sleeps in his Sleepyhead in his cot on a night and is waking for a feed after 1.5-2 hours. This sounds pretty awful but compared to Henry at this stage, it's amazing. He doesn't fight being put down generally and is happy on his play mat or in his swingy chair for around 10 mins at a time....it's amazing how much you can get done in 10 minutes!! He's wide awake on an evening and a bit grizzly, happiest being left to comfort cluster feed. He absolutely prefers men and seems to settle for them a lot easier than women. Having Mr B being able to settle him is a real novelty, Henry was the total opposite and only ever wanted me. It's meant that I've been able to leave a grizzly baby with his daddy and been able to put Henry to bed every night like I always did; something I was so worried about not being able to do once the baby arrived. 

Feeding - My milk came in on day 3 and since then he's feeding well and lots! I'm quite sore on one side so I'm not sure whether he has a dodgy latch, but it's definitely started to improve. At night he feeds every couple of hours, but only for around ten minutes at a time which is so nice. My wake ups with a tiny Henry were epic and I'd be awake feeding for well over an hour each time he woke, so I really can't moan about ten minutes. In the day if we're busy, he'll feed less than if we're just sitting and snuggling at home; as soon as he's anywhere near me he's just rooting for a boob! 

Sleep - Really good considering. I'm not sure whether it's the fact that we're used to less sleep these days because Henry still doesn't sleep well after three years, or if Archie is just a better sleeper then Henry was, or if we just know what to expect this time, but this whole first week has been a lot easier going. He's generally sleeping in blocks of around two hours at night, although he's done 3.5 hours a couple of times and also a night where it was every hour. The best part is how quickly he'll settle after a feed in his Sleepyhead, which is in his cot next to the bed. I put him down half awake often and he'll just snuggle in and fall straight to sleep which is great. He naps all day still, some short little cat naps and then others which are hours long. I've been trying to join him every afternoon too, usually accompanied by his beautiful big brother to give me the best cuddles. 

Days out - We've really taken it easy this week and it's been so so lovely. At one point I was looking on my Timehop and there were photos of lovely outings we'd had last year and the year before and I suddenly felt sad that we weren't doing anything any more exciting than staying in the house or popping round to my mum's, but I soon snapped out of it. My little Archie is only ever going to be this tiny once. I'll never ever have this week back and I'm so glad that we've been able to spend it quietly together as a family of four, getting to know our littlest cub and showing him off to our closest family and friends that have visited. Lovely days out will happen again very soon, but for now it's been delicious spending a week in my house full of beautiful boys. Having said that, we did have a lovely afternoon for Henry's 3rd birthday at Wheelbirks yesterday. It was just for family and a few friends and we had such a lovely time. It's amazing how much more laid back we are this time. The thought of being out on day 6 for a good few hours, having lunch, poo explosions to deal with, a constantly feeding baby, a toddler to keep an eye on....it all sounds pretty stressful, but it honestly wasn't. It was so lovely to spend time with our closest family and friends and also lovely to have so many people willing to cuddle or rock our baby boy. Henry was thoroughly spoilt too and enjoyed the first of his birthday celebrations. 

Family life - I really don't want to jinx anything, and I'm sure we'll have bad days and weeks to come, but this week has just been so so perfect. Henry has been beyond anything I could ever have imagined. He hasn't played up, been naughty, looked for attention, been jealous, cried or had even the tiniest of tantrum. He's been loving and patient and for a child that's not even three, I think he's amazing. I honestly thought he'd be jealous of certain people with the new baby, my mum and step dad particularly, but he honestly hasn't, not even in the slightest. He adores his baby Simba so much, constantly wanting to hold him and stroke him and 'help' him to have his milk. Whenever he hears the words nappy change, he runs and gets the mat, a fresh nappy and the wipes ready. He's just been amazing and I'm so proud of what an amazing big brother he's been this last week. 

A week postpartum - Honestly, I feel great. The fact that I have been able to give birth to a big baby without so much as a paracetamol or a stitch continues to amaze me and it's helped so much with my recovery. The after pains this time were awful, so so much worse than with Henry, particularly for the first couple of days. The midwife said that they're always worse after your first birth which is weird, I'm definitely glad to be rid of them now. My tummy is soft, but pretty much back to how it was and my old clothes are starting to fit too. On day 2 I was wearing pre-pregnancy jeans (albeit my 'fat day' pair) and my tops all seem to fit too. I've lost 21lb, leaving 11lb to go to be back to where I was at Christmas time when I found out I was pregnant. That being said, I probably put on half a stone over Christmas so I'm really not that far off where I was in January! The human body really is totally amazing. 

My boobs are still sore from feeding. I don't remember it being this painful last time but maybe it was. I've had a bit of blood from one tiny crack which is obviously taking its time to heal...understandable when they're being fed from all day, everyday! The pain only lasts for around 10 seconds when he first latches though which isn't too bad. Hopefully it'll start to get less painful this week.  

All in all, a really beautiful week that I'll never forget. Now, if I could slow down time a bit for week 2...

A birth story...

Henry's birth was far from traumatic, I couldn't wait to do it all again so it really can't have been that terrible! It was long though, and there were a good few hours that were hideous where I felt scared and out of control. I hated being on the ward afterwards with a crying baby who didn't sleep at all and wouldn't feed particularly well for any length of time. I remember feeling pretty lonely that night pacing the corridors, aware that I was waking other mummies just as their babies had woken me at various points that night. I was upset when a midwife suggested I give Henry a cup of formula to stretch his tummy a little to make him sleep - it wasn't the advice I needed or wanted and it certainly didn't help that I was so tired after a 34 hour labour. After we left hospital last time though, everything was fine and I adored my little boy and our quiet days at home, getting to know one another. The hospital stay didn't matter, nor the labour, which like I say, could have been much much worse. I didn't have any stitches and recovered pretty quickly, loving my new role as Henry's mummy. 

Fast forward three years and as I was preparing myself for labour and birth and a hospital stay, I honestly just assumed that it would be very similar. I assumed long labours were just my thing and that hospitals weren't particularly nice places to have to stay. I wasn't worried or nervous, it was just very matter of fact and something I was looking forward to doing. It meant meeting our baby and to me that's what mattered most. I wasn't prepared to feel like I do about this labour and subsequent hospital stay, I didn't think it would be as 'perfect' as it ended up being. The timing, the outcome, everything was just as I wanted. I feel beyond proud of my body for pushing out a big baby on nothing more than gas and air, proud of my body for being able to recover so quickly, not needing a stitch or a pain killer along the way. I'm so glad that I can remember every single part of it, not hazy memories due to diamorphine or sheer exhaustion, but total vivid and fresh memories of something that was just amazing from start to finish. While those memories are so fresh I wanted to write them all down, so that one day I can read them back, maybe even with Archie when he's older, and remember how I felt  that day. How proud I was of my body and my baby, how much I loved him absolutely instantly, how I felt like I'd known him forever. Here goes...

Sunday 11th September 

We were starting to prepare ourselves for induction after a sweep the day before which hadn't seemed to have done a huge amount. Mr B stayed home to get all the house and garden jobs done, and my mum and I took Henry to Gibside for the morning for a nice long walk, half in the hope that it might kick start things and half because I wanted to make the most of every last hour I could with my biggest boy. We had a lovely morning, a nice long walk, play in the park, lunch in the cafe and then home for a nap with Henry too. All that and not so much as a twinge! As I say, we were pretty prepared for induction at this point. 

After our nap we played at home and in the garden and then Mr B said he wanted to pop to his dad's for an hour and that he'd take Henry so I could rest. I decided to have a bath with my kindle, so took myself off to the bathroom for an hour's peace before tea. The boys left at 6pm and I discovered pretty quickly after they left that I'd lost a lot of my mucus plug. The less said, the better, as it really was pretty grim, but it was also exciting too. I text Rob and told him but he was totally confused by the text and as I'd been fine 5 minutes before, I dont think he thought much of it. I got into the bath with my book and almost immediately started having little niggly pains. Not contractions exactly, but regular tightenings that felt like period pains. I decided to text my mum at that stage just in case things did escalate, but all the while I was thinking that I would probably be getting everyone's hopes up unnecessarily. 

The boys arrived home and we had tea (Marmar's steak pie - all the fuel you need for a good labour apparently) and again, I really wasn't in pain, they were just uncomfortable and undeniably there. Henry never once saw me wince and wasn't aware whatsoever that anything out of the ordinary might be happening. My mum said she'd come over for him anyway and he was more than happy to be having an unexpected sleepover at Marmar's for the night. I really didn't think things would progress quickly, if at all, but it helped knowing that Henry was safe and happy and if I was up all night in pain, I didn't have to worry about him seeing me. Mum arrived at 8pm, we chatted a little on the doorstep, she brought in some washing she'd done for us and then I sobbed when she left thinking about saying goodbye to my biggest boy. I decided I needed to wash and dry my hair just in case things did get moving so went into the shower quickly while Mr B finished some house jobs. In the shower I had 3 proper contractions which were the first thing to make me really feel like it might be starting properly. I quickly dried my hair in between contractions and put my PJs on with the idea that we'd get comfy and watch a film to pass a few hours. It became clear pretty quickly from that point that we weren't going to be watching any film and would need to go to hospital sooner rather than later, so I got my tens machine going and Mr B then decided to have a shower before calling the maternity ward. 

We called at about 9:15pm and arrived by 10. The pain was bad and the contractions really hurt, but the tens machine definitely helped and I counted my way through them as best as I could, knowing that when I got to 100, they'd be  almost gone. We parked up and went to be assessed upstairs (with a good 6 contractions along the way!) where the midwife said I was 4cm and she could move me to a room on the main ward. 

The ward was understaffed and beyond busy so I couldn't use the pool room, but I didn't mind too much and started on the gas and air as soon as we were settled which was just lush; it's seriously good stuff. I wanted to stay on my feet as much as possible and felt like it really helped me this time. I had a bath which was okay but I didn't like lying on my back so I quickly got out and back to standing and leaning over the bed. 

By about 1:15am I was really flagging and desperate to know if I'd progressed at all. I was getting a lot of pressure and the pain was a lot worse and I was worried I wouldn't be able to cope for much longer. The only way I can describe the pain at that point was it felt like my pelvis was cracking in half during a contraction, something I don't remember feeling at all last time. The midwife absolutely refused to examine me for another hour (as is their policy) and said I could have some diamorphine if I wanted, but without knowing how far along I was and how much longer I needed to keep going for, I was hesitant, so refused. It helped that she came back to check on us every 15 minutes, so I kept delaying making a proper decision until her next visit, and before I knew it, she was back to examine me at 2:15. 

We both genuinely thought I was going to be 5 or 6cm and I was preparing myself to have an epidural or some diamorphine. She told us I was 8.5cm, very close to being 9cm and it wouldn't be long. I've never been so happy and knew then that I didn't need any pain relief and I could absolutely cope on just the gas. We made the decision to call my mum then and she left a sleeping Henry with his Parpar to come down and arrived around 3am. By this point I was feeling so much pressure low down and my body was baring down without me doing anything during contractions. It was painful, but at no point did I feel out of control or panicked. Not long after my mum arrived my waters went with an almighty pop all over her feet behind me and it felt like such a relief to finally be rid of them. 

During the next contraction I could feel that the head was really close to being born and within minutes the midwife said that she could see the baby and he'd be born with the next pain. I remember panicking that I could no longer stand up and called out to the midwife but by the time the words were out of my mouth, so was Archie's little head!  I didn't really even need to push, the midwife kept telling me to blow like I was blowing out candles and it was the most bizarre feeling in the world - I could feel the head there and knew that his body would come next and as soon as I could feel the contraction building, the midwife told me just to breathe and out he came. She passed him to me between my legs and I held my little boy for the first time, having quickly looked to see if he was a little boy or a girl. 

I quickly got onto the bed and they passed Archie to me while waiting for his cord to stop pulsating so they could clamp it and it was just dreamy. I adored him instantly, absolutely instantly and that skin to skin time was just perfect, just as it had been with Henry, only this time I felt so much better, more aware, no haziness at all.

He latched on to feed almost instantly which was just amazing and continued to feed for well over an hour while we snuggled in bed, ate toast and drank some seriously good sweet tea and then the poor midwife went off to help someone else on the busy ward! My mum left to get back to Henry and the three of us just enjoyed each other for those first few hours. Me lying in a pool of my own blood but not caring at all, Archie frantically feeding, and Mr B trying desperately to stay awake after a long night! 

I was eventually given a shower which felt so so good and Mr B dressed Archie and then went home for a few hours sleep before coming back around lunchtime to see us. I was moved round to the main ward and luckily, because it was so busy, I got one of the last available beds which was a private side room. After some breakfast on the ward, Archie and I had a few hours sleep and I tried to soak him up. Everything about him. That first few hours goes by so quickly and I just felt like the luckiest person in the entire world lying in that bed in the quiet, cuddling my new baby boy.

And that's how it stayed for another 24 hours really. Henry came to visit and loved his brother instantly, as did other family members, and the rest of the time was spent sleeping, feeding my little boy and eating huge plates of hospital food (which gets a terrible name for the most part, but I was so so grateful to be fed so well and so often, not having to worry about what I'd have or who'd do the washing up afterwards).

The midwives left us to it really, they realised we were fine, he was feeding well, I wasn't in pain, and they therefore just gave us the space to bond and get to know one another for the next 24 hours and that's exactly what I needed and wanted. I loved it and feel so grateful that we were able to get that time together before coming home.

Of course coming home was lovely too. There's nothing quite like your own shower and towels and sofa and all of those home comforts, and of course I'd missed Henry desperately too, so couldn't wait to get back to him. 

So that was it, at around lunchtime on Tuesday 13th, we drove home from the hospital, our hearts so much fuller than they had been just a day earlier when we'd arrived. 

A labour selfie, excited smiles all round 

In pain but in the position I stayed in for pretty much the entire labour

A brand new baby Archie, seconds old. 

Looking shattered but feeling on top of the world 

Meeting his big brother.

Chilling with his Leo Lion

Big boy all ready for home

Introducing...

Archie Leo. 

8lb 12oz of pure perfection. Arrived 12 days late on 12/9/16 at 3:17am after a labour that honestly couldn't have gone any better (more on that another day). We are beyond in love with him and our beautiful family. My house full of boys.

41 weeks pregnant

41 weeks. Enough said. Henry had arrived by now and honestly, I assumed this one would have too. I'm not really particularly fed up or majorly uncomfortable or anything so it's not all bad, it's just a funny waiting game and I'm stuck between wanting to keep busy, but not wanting to take Henry anywhere on my own that's too far away or anything like that. Oh well, into my last week of pregnancy....potentially ever!

How far along? 41 weeks!

Baby is...just bigger than last week. And Henry was a big baby, so that thought stresses me out a bit. I really would rather not have a 10pounder! 

Weight gain...31 pounds. Seemed to have dropped a pound on last week so even if Simba is piling on the pounds, at least I'm not! 

Stretch marks? Not one, and my Bio Oil is dangerously close to running out too. If I get a stretch mark this week, Simba, there'll be big trouble!! 

Sleep: Bloody amazing considering.

Most nights I get up once for the loo, but there are nights where I don't wake up at all which I can't really get over. I have the bladder of an 80 year old at the best of times, so why it's chosen now to actually behave itself is beyond me?!

Best moment this week? Not going into labour with a cold! I suddenly came down with a really horrible cold when I was 4 days overdue and had a horrible panic that I was going to go into labour feeling really really poorly. Luckily it's mainly cleared up now, as has Henry's and Marmar's, so at least we shouldn't infect Simba when he/she arrives and if we do, my antibodies will definitely help!

Miss anything?  Making plans and being able to do what we fancy. We had such a lovely summer holiday with loads of trips out, but I do suddenly feel wary about going too far away, particularly with Henry, or making plans with friends and then possibly having to let them down at the last minute, even if it would be for a good reason! 

Food cravings: Still nothing exciting. 

Gender: Since this is my last guess on my blog I'm going to say girl...

Labour signs? All kinds of little niggles. A few contractions here and there, period pain, not feeling myself at times. But clearly nothing that's meant anything! I still feel really really well in myself. My wedding rings will fit, no swelling whatsoever, I don't feel too heavy or have any major aches and pains. I'm beginning to wonder whether this is, in fact, a phantom pregnancy?! 

Mood? Not bad. People seem to automatically assume I'm miserable and desperate to give birth but I'm honestly not. Give me another week and I could change my tune, but right now I'm absolutely fine.

Appointments: I still can't believe I made it to my 41 week appointment! Blood pressure was nice and low (110/60), urine was clear, baby still head down and she also did a sweep. It was uncomfortable but not painful, and although she was able to do it, she didn't seem to think labour was imminent or anything. So I have another booked for Saturday and then induction all booked in for next week. Eeek!

Looking forward to: Meeting this lazy little baby finally! 

Our Summer Holidays - week 6

A much much quieter week to end our holidays with a poorly weekend thrown in at the end. Henry had the cold first and then it hit me like a ton of bricks and has definitely made us all slow down a little! 

A couple of hours spent at soft play at the sports centre. Easy for me, fun for the little pigwidge.

Baking banana and walnut cake. He really loves cooking so much and it's probably not something we'll get much time to do once Simba arrives, so we're making the most of it at the moment. 

So many delicious cuddly naps this week.

His last Finding Dory swimming session of the holidays, with Marmar this time. I loved watching him so much, I could have sat and sobbed at how grown up and confident he was in the water. He's definitely not a baby anymore 

Overdue and trying to get the baby out with a spicy curry. Didn't work. 

Trying copious amounts of pineapple too. Didn't work.

Getting organised and wrapping all of Henry's birthday presents so that we don't have to worry about it in a couple of weeks when we'll have a baby to think about too!

And there you have it, our summer is over and maternity leave has officially begun. I'm looking forward to cosy autumn days with my children (!!!), birthdays and Christmas too. Lots of exciting times ahead and I'm so grateful for all the beautiful memories we've made together this summer. Our last as a three.