Wednesdays

Since Archie came along 10 weeks ago, Henry has had a sleepover at my mum's every Wednesday. He adores his Marmar and loves going there, especially now I'm not at work and he doesn't have his usual mornings at her house during the week. I miss him so much when he's not here, the house isn't quite right; it's just too quiet I suppose. But I love Wednesday evenings with my littlest boy so so much too. I feel guilty for even saying it, but what I've learnt since having Archie is that mum guilt seems to multiply the more children you have, so I'm used to it! 

One thing I feel particularly guilty about is the fact that Archie rarely gets undivided attention. As a baby Henry hated being put down and loved being fed. That meant that he was by my side 24/7; on my knee, in my arms, sleeping in my bed. We were absolutely inseparable. I cooed to him, smiled at him, sang him to sleep, you get the idea. Archie just doesn't get that. Partly because he's a much more chilled out baby and is more than happy to be put down but also because I have no choice. I have a toddler to see to, to dress, change, brush teeth, read to, bath, play with, fetch drinks, feed, clean....the list is endless. I don't have time in the day to spend an hour singing or cooing to Archie in my arms the way I did with Henry, it's as simple as that, but the guilt is awful. So Wednesday evenings, where it's just us, are heavenly. I don't put him down if I can help it. We park ourselves on the sofa, I talk to him, cuddle him, feed him, sing to him. I catch up on all the tv that I would like to watch during the week (but can't due to our constant Ice Age, Peppa Pig and CBeebies watching) and generally devote all of my time to my baby boy. I also get a bit of a lie in (the toddler wakes up at 7am and is raring to go immediately as only toddlers are, whereas Archie is a lot happier to doze on a morning in my arms) and having only one child to get to bed and see to throughout the night is a proper treat too. When we finally drag ourselves out of bed, I get a proper breakfast and a hot coffee. Leaving the house with just one child is so much easier than two, so I love the calmness of Thursday mornings where I don't have to convince a 3 year old that chocolate isn't considered breakfast food or that pyjamas aren't acceptable clothes to still be wearing at lunchtime. Im sure poor Marmar doesn't have such a quiet morning!!

Having said all of that, one of the other things that I feel guilty about is the fact that I never get any 1:1 time with my big boy these days and I do miss it dreadfully. So for the last two weeks, we've gone swimming on a Wednesday morning, just me and him. My mum (you're seeing a pattern here aren't you? She's amazing) has Archie in the cafe of the leisure centre and I get time with just my beautiful big boy in the water. It's so lovely not dividing my attention, only having the two of us to get dressed afterwards and not having to stop everything to feed or change Archie. I've also managed to leave Archie a couple of times with Mr B while Henry and I have quickly popped to the shops or whatever, nothing majorly exciting, but such precious time with my first baby who seems to be growing up quicker than ever. 

1:1 time with both of my boys is so important to me, something I didn't anticipate before Archie came along. I hope that it'll be easier to make time for them both individually as they get older but I'm sure the guilt will still be there; I think it's just a mum thing!! 

2 month update

I can't believe we have a 2 month old; the newborn days are all but over and although that's sad in many respects, it's also nice to see Archie's little personality emerging and nice to feel settled as a family of 4, getting settled into some sort of routine finally. Here's my little cub's 2 month update....

Weight: At 8 weeks exactly Archie was 14lb 9oz, still tracking just below the 98th centile line in his red book. His height and head circumference were the same centile too so he's perfectly in proportion, just massive! He's in size 3 nappies and 3-6 month clothes. The health visitor and doctor were really happy with him, both very complimentary about how big he was from just breast milk, so that's always nice to hear. He had his first lot of injections which made him pretty miserable for a day or two and his next lot are in 4 weeks now. 

Feeding: He feeds like a pro, with no pain or anything for me. He feeds a lot in the day, but does sometimes go 3-4 hours now, particularly if we're out and he sleeps. He only feeds once or twice in the night which is great, and evening cluster feeding is rare...very unlike his big brother! 

Sleep: His longest stretch to date was 7 hours, doing 9pm-4am one night. 5-6 hour stretches are pretty common though and he's usually in bed for between 10-12 hours each night. The Sleepyhead is worth every penny and he settles straight back into it after a quick feed, usually awake too which is great. He likes to be swaddled too at night and I think that helps him sleep longer. He naps as and when in the day still, but always has a morning nap 90mins after waking up, and then a longer afternoon nap most days too. Apart from those two set naps, he tends to just sleep when he can get it (in the car, pram, sling or just when his big brother leaves him in peace for 5 minutes!)

Milestones: He's such a smiley, happy baby and so laid back most days. As long as he's fed, he's happy to lie on his mat or in his swing at home for an hour or be in his pram or sling when we're out. He absolutely loves the bath, kicking and splashing around the whole time he's in there. He coos back at us when we talk to him now too which is lovely and we're definitely starting to see glimpses of a little personality.

The big brother

Before having Archie I genuinely knew that Henry would be an amazing big brother. I wasn't overly concerned about how kind or gentle he'd be with the baby, I knew that he would adore his little brother or sister, so the only thing that worried me was him being jealous of the attention that the baby would no doubt get from all of us. 

I needn't have worried of course; I can't even believe how he's been this last 2 months, I didn't know it was possible for a 3 year old to love a baby so much and to be so patient and kind and loving. He hasn't once been jealous, or not that he's shown; he doesn't mind who holds Archie, if he's getting a lot of attention, if I have to see to Archie before him. None of it bothers him at all...thank goodness for him inheriting his daddy's laid back nature and not my impatient and jealous nature which made me a really difficult toddler! 

Recently he tells me he wishes he was Archie's mummy. At first I asked if he meant his daddy and he told me no because it was mummy who did the feeding and bathing and nappy changing. They're the things he wants to do. He helps with pretty much every nappy change; wipe in hand, he copies what I do and then without fail he takes the dirty nappy to the bin for me. That's his job and he won't let anyone else do it.  He helps to feed his brother, sometimes with a bottle of expressed milk, but usually just by holding the top of my boob while I feed, snuggled in to me and telling Archie, "I'm taking care of you, Arch." He constantly wants to cuddle him and smothers him in kisses, washes him gently with a sponge in the bath, takes baby toys and books over to him (dumping them on top of him!), asks him questions, sits for ages in front of him trying to get a smile out of him and tells him he loves him over and over. Recently he's started saying that when he's a man he's going to have lots of babies and has a little doll at Marmar's house that he takes great care of and cuddles in bed at night. When Archie cries, Henry tells us what's wrong with him. He's surprisingly accurate, distinguishing between cries "for a little feed" or cries "because he's got a little pain" and sometimes Archie apparently cries because he misses Marmar or one of his little friends and even once, because he was sad that it wasn't Christmas yet! Oh the imagination of a three year old. This morning I woke up with Archie and went downstairs to a plate of toast and a coffee all ready for me, simply because Henry had heard his brother awake and insisted that his daddy make me breakfast because "Mummy is awake and she'll be very hungry so we need to make her some food." He tells his daddy that I need a drink of squash because I "turn it into milkies for Arch" and once told me off for not drinking enough, insisting that I needed to so that his brother got enough milk. About a week ago I was in the bathroom putting on my make up when I heard Henry tell his daddy that Archie had done a poo and needed his nappy changing. Mr B said he didn't think he had but they checked anyway and lo and behold he had. For such a young child, I'm constantly amazed at how sensible, patient and loving he is with this tiny human, who has actually turned our lives upside down in a lot of ways. Gone are the busy afternoons of 'just us' and the mornings spent with Marmar and Parpar on his own while I worked. Gone are the cinema trips and swimming trips, the undivided attention and peaceful house. Of course we know it's all worth it, and we know that this newborn stage doesn't last forever, but Henry doesnt know that, which makes his reaction and attitude to his baby brother all the more lovely. 

He'll make someone a seriously good husband one day and I hope that he's right and that he does have lots of babies too, because I have no doubt that he's going to grow into the most caring, kind adult (and because I want lots of grandchildren to look after!). 

So if you read this when you're older boys, Archie you owe your brother a drink, and Henry, mummy owes you a drink too for making my life so much easier over these last few months. I hope that you and Arch, as you so affectionately call him, will always love one another just as much as you do now.