Wednesdays

Since Archie came along 10 weeks ago, Henry has had a sleepover at my mum's every Wednesday. He adores his Marmar and loves going there, especially now I'm not at work and he doesn't have his usual mornings at her house during the week. I miss him so much when he's not here, the house isn't quite right; it's just too quiet I suppose. But I love Wednesday evenings with my littlest boy so so much too. I feel guilty for even saying it, but what I've learnt since having Archie is that mum guilt seems to multiply the more children you have, so I'm used to it! 

One thing I feel particularly guilty about is the fact that Archie rarely gets undivided attention. As a baby Henry hated being put down and loved being fed. That meant that he was by my side 24/7; on my knee, in my arms, sleeping in my bed. We were absolutely inseparable. I cooed to him, smiled at him, sang him to sleep, you get the idea. Archie just doesn't get that. Partly because he's a much more chilled out baby and is more than happy to be put down but also because I have no choice. I have a toddler to see to, to dress, change, brush teeth, read to, bath, play with, fetch drinks, feed, clean....the list is endless. I don't have time in the day to spend an hour singing or cooing to Archie in my arms the way I did with Henry, it's as simple as that, but the guilt is awful. So Wednesday evenings, where it's just us, are heavenly. I don't put him down if I can help it. We park ourselves on the sofa, I talk to him, cuddle him, feed him, sing to him. I catch up on all the tv that I would like to watch during the week (but can't due to our constant Ice Age, Peppa Pig and CBeebies watching) and generally devote all of my time to my baby boy. I also get a bit of a lie in (the toddler wakes up at 7am and is raring to go immediately as only toddlers are, whereas Archie is a lot happier to doze on a morning in my arms) and having only one child to get to bed and see to throughout the night is a proper treat too. When we finally drag ourselves out of bed, I get a proper breakfast and a hot coffee. Leaving the house with just one child is so much easier than two, so I love the calmness of Thursday mornings where I don't have to convince a 3 year old that chocolate isn't considered breakfast food or that pyjamas aren't acceptable clothes to still be wearing at lunchtime. Im sure poor Marmar doesn't have such a quiet morning!!

Having said all of that, one of the other things that I feel guilty about is the fact that I never get any 1:1 time with my big boy these days and I do miss it dreadfully. So for the last two weeks, we've gone swimming on a Wednesday morning, just me and him. My mum (you're seeing a pattern here aren't you? She's amazing) has Archie in the cafe of the leisure centre and I get time with just my beautiful big boy in the water. It's so lovely not dividing my attention, only having the two of us to get dressed afterwards and not having to stop everything to feed or change Archie. I've also managed to leave Archie a couple of times with Mr B while Henry and I have quickly popped to the shops or whatever, nothing majorly exciting, but such precious time with my first baby who seems to be growing up quicker than ever. 

1:1 time with both of my boys is so important to me, something I didn't anticipate before Archie came along. I hope that it'll be easier to make time for them both individually as they get older but I'm sure the guilt will still be there; I think it's just a mum thing!!