Precious moments

You're growing up too fast, little one. It's currently 6am and I'm lying in bed watching you sleep. You're so beautiful spread out right across the bed, your long brown legs stretched out behind you. Your little summer PJs make you look like such a big boy, no more babygros for you and it's oh so bitter sweet for mummy. Gone is my tiny baby and in his place is a handsome little boy that I am so proud to call mine.

Occasionally you make a few little snuffles and roll over to snuggle in to me and I savour every second of these sleepy cuddles; they won't last forever, I know. I kiss your soft baby hair and tell you that I love you, stroke your soft little legs and rub your tiny little feet. You love to be stroked and rubbed, you even had a tantrum at Marmar's the other day when she tried to get you to nap without rubbing cream into you while you snuggled in. 

You are beyond precious and so beautiful, but life is busy and sometimes stressful. That's why these moments of quiet and of peace are so important little one. I get to study you closely, watch how you are growing and thank god that I get to be your mummy every day.

Sometimes, waking up at 5am with you isn't such a bad thing. I love you so much precious boy, I hope you never get too old for snuggles with your mummy.

Getting acquainted with the vets and hospital

This afternoon I was wondering what to do when Henry and I woke up from our nap. We've spent quite a lot on days out recently so I thought we'd have a nice free afternoon and go for a walk by the river and to feed the horses. Poor Mr B was working late so I thought I'd do him a favour and take George with us too as he loves swimming in the river and Henry loves to watch him too. That would mean Mr B could chill out when he got home rather than walk the dog and we could all have a lovely evening together. 

That was the plan anyway.

We had a lovely time by the river but as we were walking back to the car I saw blood on George's leg and on closer inspection found a massive gash a couple of inches wide. He hadn't cried out, had been his usual daft self and he was also quite happy for me to touch it to clean it so I wasn't too worried, but he started limping an hour or so later so Mr B had to go straight to the emergency vet when he got in. So much for making his night easier! Not such a cheap night either, we ended up having to leave George at the vet so they could give him a quick operation under anaesthetic to cut the wound open some more, give it a good clean and stitch it up. My poor dog. They told us we could pick him up tomorrow but we are both desperate to get him home, so Mr B is currently on his way to pick him up so we can have him home tonight. At a cost of £365, my afternoon wasn't as cheap as I'd hoped!! Luckily we have pet insurance but are still £85 down....expensive bloody walk!! 

Tomorrow we are off to the hospital with Henry for his allergy testing. We have the antihistamine packed and our eggs all ready (yes, we have to provide our own egg....good old NHS cutbacks!). He's being tested for eggs, milk and soya and I feel sick about the whole thing. It's been such a long time coming so part of me is glad that it's finally here and the other part of me is so worried that it's going to hurt him. I think he may be having blood tests too, and I'm really worried about him getting upset if it hurts him or having to pin him down so they can do it. I know it's a minor thing compared to what a lot of poor babies go through, but he doesn't deserve it and I wish I could just do it instead of him. Hopefully we'll get some answers though, I'll post an update tomorrow night.

I've changed

I've changed. A lot. There, I said it.

Before you have children you convince yourself that it won't change you. You'll still be the same person, you'll still enjoy the same things, you'll just have a little person to take along for the ride. The truth is, you do change and you change in every conceivable way possible and that's what makes you a better parent at the end of the day. The pre-baby me would have made a bloody awful mother to my horse and bird loving, busy little toddler. It's just as well I've changed really.

I spent the afternoon today at an RSPB centre close to where we live. I'm not really a fan of birds, I get no pleasure in enticing them into my garden with fat balls and I hate horrible flappy pigeons in market squares. Henry, on the other hand, is a massive fan of birds. And this is where the change comes in. I loved this afternoon. I didn't just love it because Henry was having fun, I genuinely loved it too. It sounds so cliched but seeing the world through the eyes of a little one is just magical. The pheasant eating out of his hand and feeding the coral pink flamingos, the tiny baby goslings with the protective mummies following behind, the beautiful black swan flapping her wings at the other birds to make sure that only her cygnets were the ones able to get to the seed we were feeding them. The huge slide and the view from the cafe, the stray feathers, just asking to be collected. It was all so magical to Henry and we had such a perfect afternoon together exploring.

Horses are also a huge part of our days at the moment too. I really really don't like horses, they absolutely terrify me. I don't get the whole 'horse thing' - you're either a horse lover or you're not, I'm convinced it's a gene that you do or don't have! I don't have that gene but it would seem that Henry does. I now take him to see the horsies close to our house most days, we buy carrots every single time we go to Tesco (always the loose variety, Henry has to hold one the whole way around the shop and I have to pretend to be a horse and nibble at it....oh, the shame!!). We read books about horses, we look at photos of horses, we make horse noises, play horse games. And I enjoy it, I really enjoy seeing my little boy so happy.

I'm a total baby bore, I claimed that I would never be excited about milestones and new words, about baby clothes or baby classes. But I love it all. I enjoy our Saturday morning music class more than any other time of the week, I could happily sit at the side and sob as I watch my precious boy shaking his hips and touching his toes along with the music. I am thrilled when he learns a new word and tell him how clever he is, telling anyone who will listen, not caring that they'll think that 'I've changed' or that I'm a total baby bore. If I could only afford one pair of new shoes, they'd be Henry's that I'd be buying, not mine. I take pleasure in him looking beautiful in a new outfit, I'm proud to take him out with me and I really enjoy choosing his clothes. 

At home Mr B and I call each other mummy and daddy, we pull funny faces at the dinner table and play Farmyard Friends with Henry every single night before bed. We talk about our son ALL the time, about how he's the best thing since sliced bread and about how different we are. We enjoy going to the park, we enjoy seeing the animals at the farm. We know which local slides are the best and which shops have the best baby changing facilities. We choose restaurants based on how child friendly they are and how good their kids' menu is, never mind what we'll have to eat, it just doesn't matter.

You see, the thing is, I know there are people without kids who will read my irritating blog posts and my Facebook statuses and they'll cringe because 'I've changed', I really have. But I honestly couldn't care less because I'm happy, really really happy pretending to be a horse in Tesco, spending my afternoon feeding corn to the wild birds of Washington and coming home to my boys to play Farmyard Friends. Life is good, it's so very different to before but so much better in just about every way....apart from sleep, that bit is definitely way worse!!

We love our afternoons

Henry's sleep has been shockingly bad this week, it's like going back in time to having a newborn. We've been up at 5am most mornings and had plenty of wake ups during the night too. Despite that we've actually had such a gorgeous week together so I thought I'd upload some photos to my blog to remind us of a lovely week. I might try to do a post like this every week, just to add to our virtual baby book/diary to look back on when Henry's older.

Juice and snack with mummy 

On the tractor ride at the farm

Say cheese 

Enjoying my strawberry sorbet at Wheelbirks

Chasing the ducks at Hardwick Park

And we found the Gruffalo too!