5&6 month update

Apologies for lack of updates. Life is busy with two little ones. Lazy, laid back, relaxed, but still busy. I rarely get a chance to sit still for a second, let alone drag out the laptop for a blog post. I'm going to make a conscious effort to blog more though, maybe setting aside one morning a week when Henry's at nursery and it's just me and Archie at home. But those mornings are oh so precious. 2 and a half hours of precious toddler-free time. Time to hoover, disinfect, cook, freeze tiny cubes of puréed down baby food, time to shop, pick up orders, do a Post Office run, send emails, stop for coffee and cake, wander aimlessly around the shops without the usual swift run in and grab anything off the shelf accompanied by two small children. You get the idea. Mornings are precious and we bloody love them. Sorry to future Henry who may be reading this, but I do love them. But what I love more is my absolutely favourite time of every day. Honestly, my very favourite. Coming to meet you. I love that more than anything.

Anyway I digress, on to Archie's 5&6 month update. I have a 6 month old. Half a bloody year. It feels like we've had him forever, but it's terrifying that he's no longer a young baby. He's learning new tricks by the day, developing his own little personality and quirks and we've really settled into life as a four now. I no longer have the pangs for alone time with Henry, or with Mr B, I'm used to having my little Albicoccs with me 24/7 and I adore it. I adore him. He's just so nice. I can't really describe his personality in any other way. He's so so nice. Except for when he has the odd bad day...then he's bloody awful and everyone knows about it!! But for the most part he is really really settled and easy. He's happy to be put down and left alone, happy to be held by people he doesn't know all that well, happy to be smooched and squeezed and snuggled by his big brother, he's just generally a happy little boy. Here's a quick 6 month update:

Weight: He weighs 22lb or 10kg exactly now - still tracking that 98th centile line. A proper chubby little bunny.

Sizes: He's mainly wearing 6-9 month clothes, although a couple of his things are now 9-12 months. I can't believe how quickly this child has grown out of clothes, it's ridiculous!! He's wearing size 4 nappies now too.

Feeding: He's still breastfeeding like a pro, he's a super quick and efficient feeder and in the last few weeks he's dropped to feeding every 3+ hours. Finally! He had a really funny few days when he first got his teeth when he refused to feed completely (so stressful) but after that was over, he never went back to his constant feeding and we're in much more of a routine with milk feeds. He started solids too at 5.5 months and is doing so so well with that. He manages really lumpy foods and does well to hold food and feed himself too. He's loved everything he's tried so far - every fruit and vegetable you can imagine, as well as pork, chicken and salmon in various forms. Tonight I made the boys a separate tea to us and it was so nice giving them an early dinner together, both of them eating the same thing, giggling at one another across the table and being generally silly. It's how imagined having children to be and it was just lovely.

Routine: He has three naps a day, one in the morning a couple of hours after he wakes up, a longer one in the afternoon and then a short evening nap after tea. His evenings are pretty horrendous because he just doesn't settle well until really late and we've tried everything we can think of but nothing's worked. So for now we're just taking it a day at a time, telling ourselves it's a phase that'll pass, and enjoying having him snuggled with us (often dozing on and off) downstairs on an evening until about 9pm. His routine is super flexible and he's generally a really flexible baby. He'll happily nap wherever we are as long as he's in a pram, his car seat, or in someone's arms being cuddled in - the joys of having a big brother with a busy social life mean that that's his only really option! He's finally stopped screaming in the car (except for night time journeys, bizarrely) which is such a relief because it was so stressful knowing that he was so distressed being out in the car.

Sleep: Ugh, sleep. Still terrible. No real reason for it being so terrible other than he's a baby and clearly not 'a sleeper'. He regularly wakes up every hour over night, every two hours is standard. Any more than that is a miracle. Thoroughly depressing, I look horrendous with the worst eye bags and I'm carrying a good few pounds of unnecessary weight which is a direct result of a new addiction to lattes which I can't really get through the day without. The less said about sleep, the better.

Milestones:

* Archie got his first tooth when he was still 4 months old and his second followed a week or so later. Really really early for teeth, but they're so super cute in photos and there's no sign of any more as of yet. He had a few days of being really grumpy because of them but all in all, not too bad considering.

* He can roll from his back to his front now, as well as the other way which he's been doing for a while. He can actually travel quite far just by rolling which is funny and we need to be really careful where we put him and what he can grab that's nearby!

* He learnt to sit up at 4.5 months and has slowly got better at sitting for longer periods. He's much much stronger now and sits really well on his own for ages, occasionally topping sideways if something grabs his attention before he's had a chance to steady himself.

* He's had his first food and is loving life now that he can eat. I've heard people talk about babies who were obviously ready for food and never really thought much of it until I had Archie. I only decided to start weaning one day when we were out and he was practically launching himself, open mouthed, at my scone. Even now he is like a little bird sat waiting for his mummy to feed him with his mouth wide open if we're eating something nice. He's definitely a hungry little boy.


And that's all I can think of at the moment to include. It's almost 10pm and I'm so ready to sleep so I'll probably end up editing this during a night feed when i suddenly remember something that i meant to include. Roll on month 7. I'm most definitely not ready to have a 7 month old - this is getting ridiculous.

4 month update

4 months. 4 whole months. I can't cope with how quickly these weeks are flying past. Archie has been pretty delicious this month. If you ignore the sleep (oh how I miss the sleep), he's been so so much easier than he was last month. He's such a bright and happy little thing most of the time, my little sunshine. I often sing 'you are my sunshine' to him at nap times when I'm rocking him to sleep and he really is. I can't believe we were ever without him really, I adore him so much, more than I ever believed I would. Anyway, I could talk about how much I love him all day so instead, here's a quick 4 month update:

Size - he's around 9kg or 20lb already, still tracking the 98th centile line perfectly. He's in size 4 (!!!) nappies and is in that awkward stage where he's between his 3-6m and 6-9m clothes, not fitting well into either!!

Sleep - Oh my god, the sleep. He wakes up ALL the time, rarely going more than 2 hours at a time, often waking up hourly for a feed. He hasn't had one good night all month, genuinely not one night of 3 hour stretches. I'm going to leave it there because it's just thoroughly depressing to even think about how long this might last if he's anything like his brother.

Feeding - He's feeding well, little and often still but I can live with that for the time being. Henry did the same but dropped feeds pretty quickly once he started on solids at 6 months so I'm hoping Archie will do the same.

Routine - I have to wake him up most days at 7:30 because we now need to get Henry to school for 8:45. He tends to then have a short morning nap of about half an hour at 9:30 and then a longer afternoon nap (up to 3 hours depending on where we are and what we're doing) at about 1pm. Evenings still aren't great. He goes down at 6pm fine with Henry but wakes on and off until about 9pm when he finally properly settles. I'm not sure why he doesn't just settle down for the night immediately and have tried everything but nothing is changing it. I've spent the last 2 weeks sitting up in his room for most of the evening trying to settle him back down in the dark so he gets used to it but it hasn't worked even a tiny bit, so part of me thinks it's just an age thing and we may as well have him downstairs with us instead of me being sat on my own all evening in a dark room with 2 snoring boys!! Henry was very similar, a real night owl, but he got to an age where he just happier to settle earlier so I'm hoping Archie will too.

Milestones -

• Archie can now roll from his front to his back and rolls onto his side from his back now too. He's desperate to sit up and constantly tries to sit forward - whether he's lying back on your knee or in his car seat, he just wants to be up! He's so strong on his feet now too and is happiest being held up on them having a little bounce around. 
• He still absolutely loves the water; bathtime being his favourite time of the day. I took him swimming for the first time which he loved so I'm hoping to do that once a week from now on. 
• He smiles and laughs a lot, he's a really really happy little soul and loves people giving him attention. He'll always reward you with a huge gummy grin if you smile at him or make silly noises or whatever which is just lovely. 
• He still coos a lot at people and makes all kinds of strange noises. He tends to have a little growl to himself when he goes to sleep just like his big brother did.
• He can hold things himself and is working on getting them into his mouth himself. He wants to bite constantly, I don't know if he'll get teeth early but Henry was never like this at all. He loves chomping on a finger, his fists or his Sophie la Giraffe that Santa brought him. 
• He still hates the car unless he's asleep and often screams for the entire journey. Having said that (touching every piece of wood and crossing everything as I say this), he has been a lot better this week so I'm hoping this is a sign of things to come and he'll continue to improve. 

And that's it for now. Like I say, he's just utterly delicious for the most part and although he's only been with us 4 short months, I feel like I've known him forever. My little Albicoccs.

A whole new routine

This week was a big week in our household; our baby boy started nursery school. It may not be a big deal for a lot of families, but having never left Henry with anyone other than my mum, it was for us. We aren't the type to leave the boys for a few days or to go on holiday without them, I'm used to having Henry with me wherever I go and I've been really lucky to never need to childminder, babysitter or a nursery for him with such a helpful and willing Marmar just up the road. So it really was a big deal for us. I didn't know how he'd be; whether he'd tell a stranger he needed the toilet or if he was upset or sad, whether he'd ask for help or listen to instructions even. It was completely unknown for us and as his first day approached I was dreading it more and more. The night before he started I cuddled him that bit tighter, kissed his blonde curls and it felt like no time at all since I'd been kissing his wispy baby hair in the hospital just after he was born. The last 3 years came flooding back and tears pricked in my eyes as I lay in bed thinking about how quickly my baby has grown up. Grown into the most beautiful, gentle and kind little boy. I adore him, so much more than I ever believed was possible. And now it was time to trust a total stranger to care for him. To me, that was a really big deal.

Meanwhile, unaware of my emotional meltdown at the prospect of kissing him goodbye at the school gates, Henry was laid back as ever about the whole thing.  He was mostly looking forward to wearing his new school shoes (that flash, no less) and didn't appear to have a care in the world. I dressed him on Tuesday morning, still wondering whether he'd be heartbroken when he realised that I wasn't going to be staying with him. Daddy came along for moral support, he too really emotional about leaving our baby with total strangers. We walked up the path together, me gripping Henry's hand tighter than he would have liked, him stomping along to make his shoes flash and Daddy trying to act tougher than he felt. Once we were inside they wanted to make it as quick as possible, understandably, and before I knew it I was kissing my baby boy goodbye and walking out, as bravely as I could manage but with tears pooling in my eyes. Mr B made the mistake of looking back and saw our little boy standing on his own looking a bit bewildered, with his key worker talking to him. He said that that's all he could picture in his head all day, our little boy looking a little bit lost in his new environment. He went in without a fuss, which pretty much sums Henry up. He does what he's supposed to do, he's not a fusser or a rebel, he just gets on with it and that's exactly what he did on Tuesday morning.

I went to pick him up an hour later and he was all smiles, telling me he'd had a lovely time and he'd painted me a picture...as if that wasn't obvious enough from the red paint which he'd managed to cover his white collar with. Y'know, the new white polo shirt that had never been worn before. Thank god for bleach is all I can say! And that was that. A few more snippets of information about a few crying children and you'd think nothing out of the ordinary had happened; it was just no big deal to him.

He went in happily the next morning and has done all week. We've had snippets of information here and there and that's the thing I've found hardest, not knowing what he's been up to for 3 hours of every day, it's just not what I'm used to. What we do know is that he loves snack time, has eaten raisins, a yellow apple ("even the skin") and a pear. He has friends called Charlie and Joey and he's managed the toilet fine by himself. He has to wiggle his fingers when the teacher wants them to be quiet and she rings a bell for snack time. Oh, and he has to cross his legs on the carpet. I know he's played in the sand and got sandy hands, he's painted pictures and played in the kitchen, but that's all he's willing to divulge for now and that's okay. It's something I need to get used to as he grows up. Its sad that I've had to let my little boy go a tiny little bit, sad that I've had to let him be that little bit more independent. But bittersweet too because I can see that he's so ready for it and he really doesn't need me as much as I'd like.

What is nice is the routine that we've now found ourselves in. The early morning alarm isn't great, but what is great is having us all up and dressed by 8am. Archie is in more of a routine already, bedtime is at 6pm every night and we have loved our lazy afternoons together this week. It's been one of my absolutely favourite weeks of maternity leave so far, despite us having been to nowhere majorly exciting, not having spent much money and having been Henry-less for 10 hours of it. And what I love most of all about our day is picking my little boy up at home time. I love the feeling I get walking up the path to school, I love peeking through the window and seeing him sitting in a circle with the other children, listening to a story. I love seeing his little face light up when he sees me and giving him a huge squeeze as I help him with his coat. That 2 minutes makes it all worth it and sadly I won't get to do that bit when I go back to work so I'm making the most of it for now.

And just like that we have a new little life, a new weekday routine and new habits to settle in to. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected, it's been lovely to spend time with just my baby boy too and I know that I'm going to love our mornings together, just the two of us, just as much as our lazy afternoons all together as a three.

I'm so very very proud of my big boy this week. My three year old who was so quietly confident about the whole thing. Confident that we'd be back for him, that there was nothing he couldn't do. If only I could slow down time a bit; I have a feeling that this 'letting him go' thing is going to keep rearing its ugly head in the years to come and I don't like it one little bit.

3 month update

3 whole months. No longer a newborn. It's crazy how quickly the weeks fly by, especially because we've been so busy in the run up to Christmas. I adore him, wouldn't change him for the world but to be totally honest, he's been pretty difficult his month. He's suddenly stopped sleeping and is really quite unsettled a lot of the time. He only ever wants me, no one else, and I'm finding balancing that with the needs of a toddler really hard and rarely feel like I've got my shit together, as they say (sorry for the swearing, mum)!  I'm sure this was how I was supposed to be feeling a couple of months ago, but somehow the newborn days seem a total breeze compared with month 3! It's not all doom and gloom, we've had some gorgeous days together and like I say, I absolutely adore the bones off him. We'll get there. 

Weight: I haven't had Archie weighed officially, mainly because it's very clear to see that he isn't having any problems putting on weight! Using our scales at home he's around 18lb at 14 weeks old, tracking the 98th centile line perfectly. He's absolutely huge, gloriously chunky and I have no worries about his feeding.

Feeding: He feeds well. Often in the day still, and unfortunately for me, often at night too now. He's still exclusively breastfed and always straight from the source, I don't have time in my life for expressing and sterilising bottles etc for now so we've given up on that daily ritual for the time being. 

Sleep: Sleep this month has been really really awful. He's gone from sleeping 7 hours at night to doing no more than 2 at a time. He is genuinely sleeping worse now than he was at a week old and I'm just exhausted. Henry slept this badly, but I napped twice a day, most days, with him. The joy of a second baby is not being able to nap because of the toddler. Last night we were awake 7 times. I'm not even going to write any more about the lack of sleep because honestly, it's just thoroughly depressing and the less said, the better. 

Milestones: Archie first laughed just after my last update at 10 weeks. He will usually give us a laugh if we tickle him under his arms or on his thighs or if someone makes silly noises.

He constantly sucks his hands or anything that's close to his mouth, something that Henry never really did. He has a dummy, which I'm still horrified about (I absolutely bloody hate dummies), but I'm limiting it to sleep times and in the car, and to be honest, I haven't seen a huge improvement since starting to use it so I'm not sure whether to stick with it. He absolutely hates the car with a passion, screaming blue murder for the entire journey if he's awake. He will only ever fall asleep if he's really really ready for his nap, and even then he has a little 5 minute scream first. I'm talking real screaming, not normal crying. I hate it, I'm finding it so stressful and find myself turning down meet ups with friends because I just can't take the screaming on the journey. I'm so anxious about going anywhere a long way away and unless it's nap time, we just don't really go anywhere longer than 10 minutes away. I was hoping the dummy would help but it brings its own problem of not being able to put the dummy back in his mouth while I'm driving. Ughhhh

He's 'talking' loads now, making real loud noises to communicate with us, cooing and obviously enjoying being able to hear his own little voice. I absolutely love it.

I've made him sound like a really miserable baby but he's actually really smiley a lot of the time. You can always guarantee a smile for a photograph and he smiles at most people when they talk to him. He has such a beautiful little smile that terrible nights, car screaming and general difficult days are totally forgotten in an instant when his whole face lights up in a smile at his mama.

And that's it. I'm hoping the next month might be a bit easier for us but month 4 is notoriously difficult with the infamous '4 month sleep regression' being a really common thing for babies of this age. I'm so so excited for Christmas this year with both boys though and I really will try hard to update my blog some more along the way.  Here's my beautiful smiling 3 month old... 

Wednesdays

Since Archie came along 10 weeks ago, Henry has had a sleepover at my mum's every Wednesday. He adores his Marmar and loves going there, especially now I'm not at work and he doesn't have his usual mornings at her house during the week. I miss him so much when he's not here, the house isn't quite right; it's just too quiet I suppose. But I love Wednesday evenings with my littlest boy so so much too. I feel guilty for even saying it, but what I've learnt since having Archie is that mum guilt seems to multiply the more children you have, so I'm used to it! 

One thing I feel particularly guilty about is the fact that Archie rarely gets undivided attention. As a baby Henry hated being put down and loved being fed. That meant that he was by my side 24/7; on my knee, in my arms, sleeping in my bed. We were absolutely inseparable. I cooed to him, smiled at him, sang him to sleep, you get the idea. Archie just doesn't get that. Partly because he's a much more chilled out baby and is more than happy to be put down but also because I have no choice. I have a toddler to see to, to dress, change, brush teeth, read to, bath, play with, fetch drinks, feed, clean....the list is endless. I don't have time in the day to spend an hour singing or cooing to Archie in my arms the way I did with Henry, it's as simple as that, but the guilt is awful. So Wednesday evenings, where it's just us, are heavenly. I don't put him down if I can help it. We park ourselves on the sofa, I talk to him, cuddle him, feed him, sing to him. I catch up on all the tv that I would like to watch during the week (but can't due to our constant Ice Age, Peppa Pig and CBeebies watching) and generally devote all of my time to my baby boy. I also get a bit of a lie in (the toddler wakes up at 7am and is raring to go immediately as only toddlers are, whereas Archie is a lot happier to doze on a morning in my arms) and having only one child to get to bed and see to throughout the night is a proper treat too. When we finally drag ourselves out of bed, I get a proper breakfast and a hot coffee. Leaving the house with just one child is so much easier than two, so I love the calmness of Thursday mornings where I don't have to convince a 3 year old that chocolate isn't considered breakfast food or that pyjamas aren't acceptable clothes to still be wearing at lunchtime. Im sure poor Marmar doesn't have such a quiet morning!!

Having said all of that, one of the other things that I feel guilty about is the fact that I never get any 1:1 time with my big boy these days and I do miss it dreadfully. So for the last two weeks, we've gone swimming on a Wednesday morning, just me and him. My mum (you're seeing a pattern here aren't you? She's amazing) has Archie in the cafe of the leisure centre and I get time with just my beautiful big boy in the water. It's so lovely not dividing my attention, only having the two of us to get dressed afterwards and not having to stop everything to feed or change Archie. I've also managed to leave Archie a couple of times with Mr B while Henry and I have quickly popped to the shops or whatever, nothing majorly exciting, but such precious time with my first baby who seems to be growing up quicker than ever. 

1:1 time with both of my boys is so important to me, something I didn't anticipate before Archie came along. I hope that it'll be easier to make time for them both individually as they get older but I'm sure the guilt will still be there; I think it's just a mum thing!! 

2 month update

I can't believe we have a 2 month old; the newborn days are all but over and although that's sad in many respects, it's also nice to see Archie's little personality emerging and nice to feel settled as a family of 4, getting settled into some sort of routine finally. Here's my little cub's 2 month update....

Weight: At 8 weeks exactly Archie was 14lb 9oz, still tracking just below the 98th centile line in his red book. His height and head circumference were the same centile too so he's perfectly in proportion, just massive! He's in size 3 nappies and 3-6 month clothes. The health visitor and doctor were really happy with him, both very complimentary about how big he was from just breast milk, so that's always nice to hear. He had his first lot of injections which made him pretty miserable for a day or two and his next lot are in 4 weeks now. 

Feeding: He feeds like a pro, with no pain or anything for me. He feeds a lot in the day, but does sometimes go 3-4 hours now, particularly if we're out and he sleeps. He only feeds once or twice in the night which is great, and evening cluster feeding is rare...very unlike his big brother! 

Sleep: His longest stretch to date was 7 hours, doing 9pm-4am one night. 5-6 hour stretches are pretty common though and he's usually in bed for between 10-12 hours each night. The Sleepyhead is worth every penny and he settles straight back into it after a quick feed, usually awake too which is great. He likes to be swaddled too at night and I think that helps him sleep longer. He naps as and when in the day still, but always has a morning nap 90mins after waking up, and then a longer afternoon nap most days too. Apart from those two set naps, he tends to just sleep when he can get it (in the car, pram, sling or just when his big brother leaves him in peace for 5 minutes!)

Milestones: He's such a smiley, happy baby and so laid back most days. As long as he's fed, he's happy to lie on his mat or in his swing at home for an hour or be in his pram or sling when we're out. He absolutely loves the bath, kicking and splashing around the whole time he's in there. He coos back at us when we talk to him now too which is lovely and we're definitely starting to see glimpses of a little personality.

The big brother

Before having Archie I genuinely knew that Henry would be an amazing big brother. I wasn't overly concerned about how kind or gentle he'd be with the baby, I knew that he would adore his little brother or sister, so the only thing that worried me was him being jealous of the attention that the baby would no doubt get from all of us. 

I needn't have worried of course; I can't even believe how he's been this last 2 months, I didn't know it was possible for a 3 year old to love a baby so much and to be so patient and kind and loving. He hasn't once been jealous, or not that he's shown; he doesn't mind who holds Archie, if he's getting a lot of attention, if I have to see to Archie before him. None of it bothers him at all...thank goodness for him inheriting his daddy's laid back nature and not my impatient and jealous nature which made me a really difficult toddler! 

Recently he tells me he wishes he was Archie's mummy. At first I asked if he meant his daddy and he told me no because it was mummy who did the feeding and bathing and nappy changing. They're the things he wants to do. He helps with pretty much every nappy change; wipe in hand, he copies what I do and then without fail he takes the dirty nappy to the bin for me. That's his job and he won't let anyone else do it.  He helps to feed his brother, sometimes with a bottle of expressed milk, but usually just by holding the top of my boob while I feed, snuggled in to me and telling Archie, "I'm taking care of you, Arch." He constantly wants to cuddle him and smothers him in kisses, washes him gently with a sponge in the bath, takes baby toys and books over to him (dumping them on top of him!), asks him questions, sits for ages in front of him trying to get a smile out of him and tells him he loves him over and over. Recently he's started saying that when he's a man he's going to have lots of babies and has a little doll at Marmar's house that he takes great care of and cuddles in bed at night. When Archie cries, Henry tells us what's wrong with him. He's surprisingly accurate, distinguishing between cries "for a little feed" or cries "because he's got a little pain" and sometimes Archie apparently cries because he misses Marmar or one of his little friends and even once, because he was sad that it wasn't Christmas yet! Oh the imagination of a three year old. This morning I woke up with Archie and went downstairs to a plate of toast and a coffee all ready for me, simply because Henry had heard his brother awake and insisted that his daddy make me breakfast because "Mummy is awake and she'll be very hungry so we need to make her some food." He tells his daddy that I need a drink of squash because I "turn it into milkies for Arch" and once told me off for not drinking enough, insisting that I needed to so that his brother got enough milk. About a week ago I was in the bathroom putting on my make up when I heard Henry tell his daddy that Archie had done a poo and needed his nappy changing. Mr B said he didn't think he had but they checked anyway and lo and behold he had. For such a young child, I'm constantly amazed at how sensible, patient and loving he is with this tiny human, who has actually turned our lives upside down in a lot of ways. Gone are the busy afternoons of 'just us' and the mornings spent with Marmar and Parpar on his own while I worked. Gone are the cinema trips and swimming trips, the undivided attention and peaceful house. Of course we know it's all worth it, and we know that this newborn stage doesn't last forever, but Henry doesnt know that, which makes his reaction and attitude to his baby brother all the more lovely. 

He'll make someone a seriously good husband one day and I hope that he's right and that he does have lots of babies too, because I have no doubt that he's going to grow into the most caring, kind adult (and because I want lots of grandchildren to look after!). 

So if you read this when you're older boys, Archie you owe your brother a drink, and Henry, mummy owes you a drink too for making my life so much easier over these last few months. I hope that you and Arch, as you so affectionately call him, will always love one another just as much as you do now.