12/13 weeks pregnant

How far along? 13 weeks. I'm absolutely sure I'm only 12, but by scan dates I'm 13, so I'll stick with official dates from now on. I'm happy to miss a week and jump straight to the second trimester.

Baby is...the size of a peach

Total weight gain: 10lb!! 10lb! Jesus Christ. Trying not to think about it. I was the same last time though, the only cure for sickness has been to eat ALL day long. And of course I haven't craved tomatoes or cucumber; all I've wanted are salty dry crackers, rice cakes or crisps. Hence the 10lb. Hoping a healthier second trimester will mean a lot slower weight gain.

Maternity clothes? Yep! The jeans and work trousers are out and I'm wearing stretchy tops that go over my bump. I could really do with a nice dress I could wear with tights for a few weeks for work etc, but finding all of the maternity stuff in the shops SO frumpy and old fashioned. Either that or just ridiculously expensive.  

Stretch marks?  Not yet, I'm applying bio oil once a day and using my Lush Therapy massage bar too. Fingers crossed...

Sleep: A little better but I'm so snotty still (another glamorous pregnancy symptom no one ever warns you about) so waking up with a totally dry mouth throughout the night because I can't breathe through my nose. Also getting up once or twice to wee already.

Best moment this week? Our scan, seeing baby 'Simba' for the second time, the first time of seeing a gorgeous little baby with arms and legs though. He/she was fast asleep and only crossed and uncrossed their legs a few times for us. We're hoping this might mean we're getting a baby who loves to sleep unlike their big brother!

Miss anything? Not really, the NHS have changed their guidelines on goats cheese since my last pregnancy and I can now safely eat it cooked, hurrah! So Mr B and I chose Pizza Express for our date night this week and both tucked into goats cheese pizzas. So good. 

Food cravings: Berries are going down well. Not sure they're a craving, but we're getting through plenty in our house at the moment! 

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Of course. Bloody sickness. I still hate the smell of our kitchen and some washing powders, but it's not as bad as it was. I have good and bad days but I'm definitely getting better every day. 

Gender: We're both thinking boy after our scan.

Labour signs: Way too early thankfully.

Symptoms: Sore boobs, sickness, stuffy nose, extreme tiredness, some pelvis pain which feels like I've been kicked really hard between the legs...just sore and bruised....lovely. 

Mood: Generally okay, just super tired and grumpy with it at times.

Looking forward to: Having a tiny newborn again.

8-11 weeks pregnant

Feeling like crap didn't inspire my blog posts. I was aware of how bloody miserable I was sounding week after week, so went for bump pics instead. Normal service should now resume now that I'm feeling a lot better than I was. I can't believe how quickly my bump has popped this time, I'm sure a lot of it is bloat, as it's a lot bigger on an evening, but I'm so obviously pregnant which is lovely. I'll do a proper week 12/13 update from after my scan but here are weeks 8-11:

Apologies for the messy room in the first pics! The huge pile of clothes behind me are my maternity clothes that need a wash and an iron. Our house is also a total state after being severely neglected while I was poorly, we're finally just about getting back on track.

7 weeks pregnant

This is hell. I can't be bothered to copy and paste the usual format into a new blog post, doesn't seem worth it to say the same again. I feel like death. 

It's currently 5:30am and I've been awake most of the night feeling sick, I was sick about half an hour ago and the nausea is now back again. It's relentless, I never ever get a break from it, day or night. I'm struggling more than I thought I would be, I feel miserable, completely disconnected to the little baby growing inside of me. I'm wondering why we wanted another baby, feeling selfish because I feel like Henry is the person suffering most through this. He's worried about his mummy, doesn't understand why trips to the doctor don't make her better. The thought of feeling like this for another 8 or 9 weeks are what makes it worse. Another day of this makes me want to cry, let alone 60 odd more days. I just can't do this, this is hell on earth. 

UPDATE

Reading the above is painful, but it's real and it's important to remember the bad moments as well as the good so it's staying. I hope it doesn't offend anyone. Baby Simba, if you read this when you're older remember that you were absolutely wanted, more than anything. But you caused your muma total hell for a few weeks! I have a feeling it won't be the last of the worry and stress you cause me either. 

Of course we are so so lucky to be carrying a healthy baby and to have fallen pregnant so quickly, but the honest truth is I've been so miserable and ill these last few weeks that it's hard to remember that at times.

Anyway, today I think we may have turned a corner. I saw the loveliest doctor at our surgery to ask about anti-sickness medication. He prescribed that and told me not to even give its safety a second thought, he said he wouldn't prescribe it in a million years if there was any doubt in his mind about its safety for me or the baby. He also gave me a scan which was totally unexpected, blurry and grey but magical all the same. We saw a tiny little heartbeat flickering away, just as it should be. He was happy that everything looked healthy and I was measuring almost exactly 7 weeks pregnant. I've taken a tablet, put on my PJs and I'm going back to bed for a few hours to hopefully start feeling more normal very soon. Fingers crossed! 

6 weeks pregnant

How far along? 6 weeks 

Baby is...the size of a sweet pea 

Total weight gain: -2lb, a mixture of sickness, being poorly and just evening out after my Christmas pig-out. 

Maternity clothes? Not yet 

Stretch marks?  Nope

Sleep: Bad. Mainly because I've been poorly and awake almost every hour. Thank the Lord for naps.

Best moment this week: Making a midwife appointment for the 27th. Only 2 weeks to wait.

Miss anything?  Feeling good, being able to take Henry out and feeling normal! 

Food cravings: Yes! Absolutely can't think of anything worse than hot food on an evening and instead craving cold, juicy food. Really fresh lettuce in salad, tomato salsa, watermelon, grapes. Hot drinks are turning my stomach too, exactly the same as last time. 

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Everything! I feel so so poorly.

Gender: I now think boy because I feel so similar to my last pregnancy. 

Labour signs: Way too early.

Symptoms: Bad sleep, so nauseous, bizarre food cravings/aversions, spotty

Mood: Miserable. I've had a nasty cold, sinusitis, an ear infection and sickness. Not a great week in the Barker household.

Looking forward to: Not feeling sick!!

5 weeks pregnant

How far along? 5 weeks 

Baby is...the size of an apple seed

Total weight gain: 0lb, exactly the same weight as last week

Maternity clothes? Not yet, I tried on my old jeans which I absolutely loved last time around and they're going to be way too big this time and so are my work trousers. What a pain. I remember wearing my trousers to work from really early on too, around 13/14 weeks, so I'll be on the hunt for trousers soon. 

Stretch marks?  No and I'm hoping to keep it that way! I'm applying Bio Oil once a day at the moment. 

Sleep: One word. Shocking. I remember this exact same thing happening last time. I didn't sleep a full night last time I was pregnant in the entire 9 months and it looks like it'll be the same this time. I just wake up about 4 or 5 times a night and can't get back to sleep. That on top of Henry waking up is a killer. Soon it'll be getting up to wee, then it'll be heartburn keeping me up and then I'll be too big and uncomfortable to sleep. Oh the joys!!

Best moment this week: Finally 'feeling' pregnant, even if they aren't particularly great symptoms.

Miss anything?  Diet coke. Although it's not an official 'no-go' item, I drink way too much of the stuff and when you read the ingredients list it's just full of absolute crap. Not worth it.

Food cravings: Not really, still starving from the second I wake up on a morning (and often in the middle of the night too).

Anything making you queasy or sick?  I've had my first few sicky episodes, just a few hours where I've felt really queasy or sick. Nothing long lasting or particularly awful yet though...

Gender: No idea. Henry's decided this baby bump is going to be called simba, so I've been referring to it as a he because of that I think.

Labour signs: Way too early.

Symptoms: Crappy sleep, very vivid dreams, nose bleeds, some sickness.

Mood: Generally happy and still super excited 

Looking forward to: Having a gorgeous baby bump again.

4 weeks pregnant

I still can't believe I'm pregnant, it was much much quicker than we expected but lovely all the same to have another September baby. The thing I most regret about my blog is not starting it earlier with Henry, I wish I could have documented some of my pregnancy and the very early days and I'm so happy that I can do that this time around. I'm hoping to do weekly updates on my pregnancy with bump pictures once that starts growing in a few weeks too. Here goes, my very first update...

How far along? 4 weeks ish, I'm sure my dates will change slightly at my first scan like they did last time. But for now, baby is due on the 6th September 2016.

Baby is...the size of a poppy seed

Total weight gain: 0lb, I got weighed today (a brave move considering it's been Christmas and I have eaten a LOT of cheese!). Any weight gain will be measured from today.

Maternity clothes?  Not yet thankfully, but I have been raking around under the bed in my old maternity clothes to see what I have and will need. I'm about a stone and a half lighter this time around so a lot of my things will be way too big, a good excuse for an asos haul!!

Stretch marks?  No and I'm hoping to keep it that way. I didn't get any with Henry and really hope I don't this time. I'm going to buy a huge bottle of Bio Oil this week and a Lush therapy massage bar too as that's what worked last time.

Sleep: Okay, not getting as much as I'd like because of Henry, my little sleep stealer, but I'm not overly tired.

Best moment this week: telling a few family and friends our exciting news.

Miss anything?  Goats cheese and prosecco. No alcohol on Christmas Day was bad enough without having to avoid the Goats cheese on the cheese plate! 

Food cravings: Not really, I'm just starving the minute I wake up and have got to eat immediately.

Anything making you queasy or sick?  Runny eggs, bleughhhh! 

Gender: I have no idea, we had a few random signs on Christmas Day that it was going to be a girl but honestly, I have no clue! 

Labour signs: Way too early thankfully. 

Symptoms: apart from the crazy morning hunger, not a lot.

Mood: generally happy and super excited 

Looking forward to: Calling the doctors next week to make a midwife appointment!