Back to work blues

Tomorrow morning I'm setting my alarm for the first time in almost 9 months. We are going to do a morning run-through before I'm back to work officially next week. I honestly have no idea how long it'll take us from the alarm going off to me arriving at work. Usually our mornings are super relaxed but from next week they'll closely resemble a military operation in order to get 2 adults sorted, a baby dressed and fed and a dog walked. I feel stressed just thinking about it!!

In terms of going back to work I have mixed feelings. I love my job, I know that I'm really good at my job and I'm looking forward to working with the kids again, socialising with my colleagues, and to be totally honest, getting a peaceful cup of tea at break time!! Having said that, every time I think about leaving Henry I cry. I know he'll be well looked after, I know he'll enjoy himself, I know that I'm lucky that it's only part time...but it still makes me feel sick. I've spent every single day with this boy for the last 8 months and I spent the 9 months before that carrying him around with me. I will feel like a bit of my heart is missing when I'm at work and I know that that's going to be so hard. I'm not the type of mum that goes out a lot without my child, I can count on one hand the times I've left him with anyone and that's totally through choice; I don't want to be without him. I'm happier when we are together, it's as simple as that.

I am going to miss my baby so much on Monday, it's scary how quickly these last 9 months have flown by. I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to take so long off work, so fortunate to be able to go back part time and truly blessed to have such an amazing family that I know are going to take such good care of my pigwidgeon.