The thing that they're ranting about is pretty much the same thing. Judgemental mothers. Mummies that feel superior because they feed a certain way or dress their children a certain way or live their lives a certain way. I think Internet groups, Facebook and Twitter are perfect breeding grounds for these mummies. It's very easy to come across as a saintly, perfect mummy in front of a computer screen. No one can see you when you've had no sleep and you've spent the day in tears. No one can hear you when you snap at your children after they've rubbed your bronzing pearls into the carpet again! It's easy to be rude to others and make them feel bad about how they've chosen to bring up their children with a computer as a shield. I'm sure these women say things on a keyboard that they'd never say out loud. It's the mummy, middle-class version of a Twitter Troll and I hate it.
Being a new mummy is magical, it's the best thing I've ever done. But it's not easy. I'm certainly not perfect, but I do my best. As women and as mummies, I don't understand why we wouldn't support each other, no matter what. Someone might do something that you personally wouldn't, but since when did it become acceptable to tell that mummy what she is doing is wrong?!
If you choose to go back to work full time, brilliant. I admire your organisation in simply getting out of the house in one piece! If you want to be a stay at home mum, that's great too. It's definitely not the easy option that some people would believe.
If you breastfeed for 2 years, well done you, it's not easy. But if you chose formula from day one, you're doing a great job too. I'm not sure why some people feel the need to make mothers feel like they're poisoning their babies by giving them anything other than breast milk. It's just not true and totally unhelpful. Equally, if I want to breastfeed in a public place, don't moan about it or give me dirty looks, it's a perfectly natural thing to do. My baby is hungry and I am feeding him, leave me alone.
If you wean at 4 months with baby rice, great. If you chose to wait till 7 months to do a baby led approach, fantastic. Calling baby rice 'filth' on Facebook isn't helpful...why do it, even if that's your opinion? All babies are different, so are us mummies. One method might suit one person but not another and that's ok. If someone asks for advice on weaning their 5 week old baby, there's a way of giving helpful advice, a way to point her in the direction of NHS advice. Calling her a stupid ignorant cow isn't the way to help anybody.
If you take your baby to swimming lessons because you want them to get used to the water or because you want to teach them about water safety or because you just want to have fun, that's really great. Be aware, however, that not everyone can afford £15 a lesson or they may see that as a lot of money for a baby's swimming lesson. It is no excuse for you to 'inform' other mothers that their baby won't ever learn to swim well or will have no awareness of water safety. After all, a whole generation of us managed just fine.
If you choose to co-sleep with your baby every night, that's great. If you never let your children into your bed and that works for you, then that's brilliant. We let Henry in bed with us if he's unsettled but I appreciate that that isn't for everyone. The number of arguments I've read on co-sleeping is ridiculous. Just do what works for you and stop judging others that do something different. Simple.
The thing is, we all have opinions on what is best. The difference is, some of us choose to keep these opinions to ourselves. I hate dummies but I would never go up to someone in the street if their child had a dummy and tell them about why I hate them, nor would I do it online. I am not a better parent because I don't use a dummy, it's just a personal choice.
So I will now delete my 3 draft posts. I don't feel I need to rant as much now. Hopefully my next posts will be a bit more cheerful, here's a smiley face picture to start us off!
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