Fed-up Mummy

So today we found out that on top of all the dairy products that Henry is allergic to, he is also allergic to eggs. He had the tiniest amount of egg and then within minutes had broken out in hives all around his little mouth. So on top of the milk, yogurt, cheese, biscuits, cake, crisps and every other type of processed food, we now can't eat eggs either. Good.

On top of that Henry's reflux has been hideous tonight because of the egg. He screamed and screamed all the way home from my mum's earlier, screamed through his nappy change, weed everywhere so then needed a whole PJ change and only finally settled after a huge milk feed! Needless to say I cried at various points in this process.

The worst part of it all is not being able to help him. He absolutely screams and screams and he looks at me and I feel so terrible that I can't make it better for him. Today I feel so guilty that I gave him the egg, which I know is ridiculous, he was going to have to try it at some point. I did everything by the book; I ate healthily when pregnant, didn't drink alcohol or even coke, avoided all of the foods I was told to, I carried him to full term, gave birth naturally, exclusively breastfed him and continue to do so, make all his meals from scratch with fresh ingredients, make sure he eats a balanced diet everyday. Yet none of that was enough. I feel like I haven't done enough for him and wish more than anything that I could take his pain away and that the allergies could be mine and not his. I know that all this is totally irrational and I know none of it is my fault but I guess that's just part of being a mummy isn't it?