A resolution to be proud of

I posted this exactly a year ago today, I can't believe how quickly time has flown by. I'm so proud of myself for sticking with blogging for a whole year and I'm so glad that I have recorded memories to look back on in years to come. I love looking back now, so can't imagine how wonderful it will be in 40 years time when I can look back on them with my grown up son and perhaps even grandchildren. The Internet is a wonderful thing sometimes. I'm glad that I was able to record the honest truth, day by day, of what our life was like in 2014. I haven't silver plated anything, I wrote about days where all I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry (usually due to sheer exhaustion) and I wrote about days where the fierce and intense love that I felt for my little boy just took my breath away. That's the joys of motherhood, especially that first year, it's a huge mix of emotions, a rollercoaster full of laughter, tears, tantrums, smiles and so much love. I'm so glad that I could capture that in a blog. I can't believe how much I've forgotten about having a newborn baby, how much I don't remember about my labour. I don't remember how we went about weaning Henry or how I really felt about going back to work; there is so much I'd have forgotten if it weren't for this blog.

 I thought that when it came to 2015 I'd probably stop blogging. I saw it as a year long project that I wanted to stick with until the end of the year, but I can't see that happening now. I love that our holidays are recorded and documented, birthdays and Christmases are photographed and written about, it's like I'm creating a huge journal for my family to look back on in the future. I have a couple of books upstairs that my mum made when I was younger after our two Disney holidays in Florida. I love looking at them, seeing the photos, reading about what we got up to. And ultimately that's all that this blog is, just in digital form. In 2015 we have more adventures planned, holidays, trips out. Henry will meet more milestones, I will experience new emotions as a mummy, I'm sure. I'm hoping that 2016 will involve a sibling for Henry, so it'll be nice to record how I'm preparing my body for that...and how I'm enjoying a few months of not being pregnant or breastfeeding (hopefully by the latter part of 2015). Thinking a couple of years ahead, I'd love to be able to record my next pregnancy for our next child. It's such a shame that Henry's part of the blog only starts from him being 3 months old; how lovely it would have been to have had weekly bump updates and the like. Hopefully next time. 

I also feel connected somehow to the followers of this blog. It's had almost 30,000 page views this year which is just incredible. I never ever expected that to happen and it's not something I try to dwell on when I write. Ultimately this is my diary and it's written for me and for Henry when he's older, but it's lovely to share our lives with so many people from around the world. I don't tend to look at the blog stats too much, but one thing that always catches my attention is the different countries where my blog is being read: from the Ukraine to Israel, Iraq to Australia, Canada to Poland. Thank you all so very much for reading this year, here's to the next lot of adventures in 2015. I wish you all a very happy and healthy year.

Bee x

(I've written this while Henry's been down for his morning nap...I should have been ironing....never mind!)

2014....an overview

This time last year I posted an overview of my year here and I thought it would be nice to do the same thing again. I can't believe I've been blogging for a whole year today; this has to be the only resolution I've ever kept for an entire year. Anyway, he's a summary of our year (I've stuck to just pictures of our little family, I know other people may not be keen on having their photos posted on the Internet. We do have friends and other family, honest!)

Tucked up warm on a winters walk

Norfolk, February 2014

First ever food - puréed carrot

Afternoon tea, just loving being his mummy.

A horrible reaction to milk, one of the battles we've had in 2014

Sitting up at 5 months

What a lovely place to sit

On holiday, Spain May 2014

Our faces say it all 

This year was full of napping and snuggles

Lots of paddling pool time 

Beautiful walks 

Fun with mummy 

A very special 1st birthday 

Kisses for Donald

Disneyland, October 2014

Magical Christmas memories 

A very happy Christmas 

What a year, I'm so excited to see what the next will bring us.

Lunch date

This morning my little one and I were up early so we went sale shopping bright and early. We got some really good bargains and took a few Christmas presents back to exchange for different sizes. I bought so much stuff in age 2-3 for next winter and I can't get over the fact that I'm buying for a little boy now, not a baby. How sad. I actually bought a couple of things that he already has in bigger sizes because I love them so much, and when they're less than half price it's hard not to! Monsoon and Mothercare both had fab sales, Marks and Spencer and Next were both looking pretty bare but I bought some lovely jumpers in Next on Boxing Day so I've done pretty well this year. It seems silly to pay over £15 for a Christmas jumper next year when I can pay £7 now and just store it away until the winter. I do love a bargain. I also got Henry some new shoes in Clarks, he's now a size 4 and a half....my big growing boy.

Anyway after our shopping we went to Nando's for lunch and it's the first time I've ever eaten out on my own with Henry. I loved it. Just me and my gorgeous little man. I have to say the conversation was a bit one sided but Henry was so well behaved and loved his chicken and corn as usual. I just can't believe how old he is and how I can just take him out for lunch. It seems no time at all since we had to juggle a crying baby between us as we ate one handed, or when I'd have to wear breastfeeding friendly clothes for lunches out, knowing that a boob would be required at some point during the meal. To be fair, I do miss the days where he'd fall asleep and we could eat our desserts in peace! Oh well, you can't have it all, can you?

A poorly Christmas

We had a really lovely Christmas, sorry I've been a bit absent on the blog, but I felt a bit uncomfortable writing about being away from home...you never really know who's reading. We're home now and had a really magical Christmas in sunny Essex. Spending Christmas with young children is just the best and we enjoyed Henry so much this year. As lovely as it was last year, our 3 month old baby wasn't as enthusiastic as we were. Unfortunately poor old Henry has been in the wars this past week; in the last 10 days he's had chicken pox, a chest infection, ear infection, diarrhoea, a cold and now conjunctivitis too! On top of that, I think he's teething too, poor lamb. We've spent the day in our PJs and he's had loads of milk and not a lot of food...a sure sign that he's not himself. The good thing about babies is they bounce back pretty quickly so I'm hoping with a good night's sleep (yeah right!), we'll have our happy little chap back in the morning.

Jumper boy

I love dressing Henry. I always thought boys' clothes were pretty boring (and let's be honest, they are compared to tutus and patterned tights) but I surprised myself at how much I enjoy shopping for Henry. This autumn and winter he's had so many gorgeous jumpers, I thought I'd share a few of my favourites. Most of them are gifts and he actually received some more gorgeous ones for Christmas which I'm going to exchange for a bigger size for next winter; he has so many it seems a shame for them not to be worn!! In fact, I've just looked at these photos and realised I only actually bought 1 of the 9 in the picture, what kind family and friends our little pigwidgeon must have.

From top left:

Teddy tank top- Next

Owl jumper - Monsoon 

Bear jumper - Next

Fair Isle cardigan - Tesco

Penguin jumper - White Company

Fox jumper - Primark

Pigeon jumper - Monsoon

Stag jumper - White Company

Snowman tank top - Next

We do lots of Henry's clothes shopping in Sainsburys and other cheaper places, but we do like to buy special pieces in places like Monsoon and The White Company too. My brother even bought Henry a Stella McCartney top for Christmas! He's definitely better dressed than his mummy and daddy!

Blogmas Fail - Day 24

Well Blogmas was a massive fail, apologies to anyone who was checking for updates. I've been enjoying lots of technology free time, enjoying precious moments with Henry and preparing for the big day tomorrow. Today was my mum's birthday so it's been a manic one and I've just climbed into bed after sorting stockings and presents. Santa's mince pie and brandy has been left out and there's a carrot ready for Rudolph too. I'm beyond excited for tomorrow; it'll be loud, busy, manic and I'll probably be ready for bed by 7pm, but that's what Christmases with children are all about and I can't wait. Until I do a proper Christmas update, here are a few photos of me and my little love over the last few days. 

...and chill! - Blogmas Day 21

It's been a long term at work but Christmas week is finally here. Baby is in bed and I'm eating Oreos, drinking wine and watching tv in peace. Absolute perfection.

(I'm afraid there's no advent calendar updates for a few days. I've left it at home so will have to get Mr B to bring it in a few days time.)

Dairy Free Treats - Blogmas Day 20

A few weeks ago I heard about Cocoa Libre on Twitter and checked out their website to see what they sold. As I'd never heard of them I really wasn't expecting much but I was really impressed. Their packaging looked really lovely and they sold a small, but decent selection of dairy free chocolate treats. I decided to order some for me and Henry to enjoy over Christmas and a few little bits for Henry's stocking too...Santa needs a little help every now and then after all. So far I've only tried the chocolate orange frogs and I have to say, they are sooo good. Somehow, after tonight, there are 7 missing from the box...no idea how that happened. I'll definitely be ordering more in the new year. I REALLY miss 'normal' chocolate at the moment, I'm dreaming of all the tasty food I'm going to eat when I stop breastfeeding, which all going to plan, should be by August.  But for now these little frogs are filling the hole that would usually be filled by Terry's Chocolate Oranges at this time of year. Well done Cocoa Libre! 

Today's advent treat isn't the most exciting I'm afraid. It's a Lancôme make-up remover.

Chicken pox! - a spotty Blogmas Day 19

Henry has the dreaded chicken pox, just in time for Christmas! Coupled with a chest and ear infection and he's in a bit of a bad way really. Poor lamb. He's actually ok in himself apart from wanting lots of cuddles and wanting to feed ALL day. His chicken pox aren't that bad, the doctor said because I'm still breastfeeding him they will probably be quite mild. Thank The Lord for boobies ey? So instead of going to my work's Christmas party tonight, I'm going to be eating a Chinese take-away, drinking prosecco and cuddling my little boy on the sofa. I have years ahead of me for going out, but right now I have a little one that only needs me (and my milk!) so I'm just going with it and enjoying the cuddles while they last.

Calpol, antibiotics and some skin cream. Not the way I'd like to be spending my Friday night! 

And my advent treat today was a small bottle of Flowerbomb perfume which I absolutely love but have never bought because it's a fortune! 

We love bath time - Blogmas Day 18

Bath time is usually Mr B's job but I've done it the past couple of nights and I've loved it. Henry hated his first few baths but since then, has loved every one. He can be in the worst mood, or feeling really poorly, but his mood changes immediately when he's in the water. It's definitely one of the nicest times of our day. I just love these precious moments with our little boy who seems to be growing up way too quickly.

And today's advent calendar treat was a Lancôme skin corrector. No idea what this does, will have to have a Google! 

Breastfeeding in public - Blogmas Day 17

I've had this article screenshot saved in my phone for over a week now and the plan was to write a blog post about it last week but to be totally honest I just don't know what to write. I'm baffled that anyone can liken breastfeeding to urinating; natural but something to be done in private. I'm baffled that The Sun think it's acceptable to print this crap (written by Jeremy Clarkson) when every day a pair of boobs graces their Page 3. It's obviously fine for boobs to be seen for sexual pleasure but not for feeding babies. So so wrong. I hate how overly sexualised our society is becoming, it's getting worse and worse every year and I hate it.

I've fed Henry everywhere, from posh 5 star hotels, to under the Disney castle, from trains, planes and cars, to a bench on the seafront one bitter cold night. I've fed him when he's been hungry, because that's what we do for our children isn't it? Sometimes the reality is, there is nowhere 'private' and comfortable to breastfeed when you're out and about and quite honestly, why should you hide away to do it? Newborns often feed for up to an hour, why would I leave my lunch to go cold in a restaurant and go and sit in a smelly disabled toilet for ages when I could carry on as normal, albeit with a baby discreetly latched on having his lunch too.

It just makes me so angry; I'm angry for all the women who are too nervous to feed in public because of what might be said, I'm angry for those women who aren't supported by family and friends, angry that our children aren't seeing breastfeeding in public more often, angry that people feel judged however they choose to feed their babies.

This isn't the blog post that I wanted it I be, but like I say there are no words to describe how cross this subject makes me feel. I certainly won't be buying The Sun again and I certainly won't be booking afternoon tea at Claridge's anytime soon either. I will, however, continue to breastfeed my toddler in public, despite how disgusting Jeremy Clarkson might find this.

On a brighter note, my advent treat was something I've wanted to try for ages; Urban Decay's primer potion for eyes.

Dairy free rocky road - Blogmas Days 15 and 16

Sorry with the lack of blog post yesterday, I've totally failed with Blogmas haven't I?! I felt so poorly after work I ended up just going to bed at the same time as Henry and only remembered about my blog this morning. Never mind.

This afternoon Henry and I have been baking. I've attempted some dairy free rocky road and it's actually really good. If I was making this normally, I'd use really good chocolate and also amaretti biscuits, but neither of those are egg/dairy free so I've just had to make do. Its obviously not as good as the original version, but it's a real treat, particularly with the lack of Christmas treats in our house that Henry and I can actually eat.  

Here's the recipe:

Ingredients 

100g dark chocolate (check that it's Dairy Free)

200g dairy free 'milk' chocolate

150g margarine

3 tablespoons golden syrup

200g crushed digestive biscuits (Tesco's basics range is dairy free)

100g mini marshmallows (not all of these are egg/dairy free but Tesco's own are)

100g glacé cherries, halved

100g chopped brazil nuts 

100g sultanas 

Method

Melt the butter, syrup and chocolate together on a very low heat in a heavy bottomed saucepan.

Once melted, add the remaining ingredients and stir thoroughly.

Place in a lined brownie tin (or similar) and push down firmly.

Refrigerate for an hour before cutting and serving.

And finally, my last couple of advent calendar treats have been a YSL eye liner which I love and a Lancôme serum.

A lovely Sunday - Blogmas Day 14

It's currently 11pm and I've just realised I haven't blogged today...bad times. I'm sat on the sofa with a poorly, sleeping pigwidgeon; his cough keeps waking him up and he then screams until I go and comfort him. After his sixth wake up I just brought him downstairs with me and now we're up waiting for Mr B who's been out working for a few hours.

Apart from the fact that we're all still ill, today has been so lovely. I got up with Henry this morning and let Mr B have a lie in and I loved it so much. 

Lazy mornings are just the best and Henry is always in such a happy mood. After a few hours he was ready for his nap so I just went back to bed too and we slept for another two hours and it was divine. I love snuggling up and sleeping next to him, it's one of my very favourite things in the world and I'll be so sad when he's too old to want to have a nap snuggling with his mummy.

We then met friends for a roast dinner at Knitsley farm which quite honestly, does the best roast dinner ever. Like ever ever. Amazing. We then went back to my mum's for a cuppa and then came home for a quiet evening before Mr B had to go out and work. I love lazy Sundays like today, I'm feeling very festive and can't believe that in less than  a week we'll be heading off to our Christmas cottage. I can't wait.

My advent treat today was another Lancôme mascara. It's a different type to the other day but it seems a bit odd to receive two? Nevermind, they always come in handy.

 

Tag Team Parents - Blogmas Day 13

Today has been really lovely; I've had a long lie in, met up with two old friends and had a leisurely lunch which consisted of chatting, amazing tapas and wine (always good), a wander round York and a quiet evening to myself wrapping Christmas presents and watching Christmas films. The only thing wrong with it is I've really missed my husband and our little family. How pathetic.

Mr B had Henry for 3 and a half hours while I slept this morning, then he handed him back to me and walked the dog and got ready himself, I handed Henry back while I went off to York for the day with my friends. When I arrived home I dropped Mr B straight off to meet his friends for drinks in town and got Henry bathed and to bed before starting my wrapping mission. True tag-team parenting. I'm off to bed now and he's on a bus home so I won't see him until the morning. I've missed him so much I might even let him lie in in the morning and nurse his hangover in peace rather than suffering Mr Tumble and breakfast time with a toddler. I'm all heart.

I remember when Henry was tiny I thought I'd never be able to go out all day and leave him with his daddy. Mr B will very openly tell anyone that he really found the first few months difficult. He had NO idea what to do with the screaming baby that only wanted to feed 24/7.  The baby that would be screaming blue murder for him but would stop the second he was in my arms. He adored Henry more than anything, but he knew that he was very much second place to mummy in the eyes of his son and that must be really difficult. It's the one downside to breastfeeding I think. It's absolutely true what they say about it being hard for dads to bond with tiny babies if they can't feed them, but what we've both seen now is that's totally natural; it's how babies are programmed to be. They need to be with the person that's going to feed them and keep them safe, and for the first part of their life, that is their mummy. Henry now absolutely adores his Daddy, and I no longer feel frustrated by Mr B's lack of confidence with Henry or worry about leaving him all day. Last week they went Christmas shopping to a busy shopping centre on the busiest day of the year and today they tackled soft play on a Saturday and had a hair cut too....I'm not sure even I have the confidence for these kind of activities! 

So on one hand I'm glad that we can tag-team parent so easily on days like today, but I do miss hanging out as a family. I'm so old and boring aren't I?! If you're reading this and feeling like you'll never be able to leave your baby with your other half or feeling envious...don't. I've been there. And it gets better. If you have a particularly clingy baby, just go with it; enjoy it even. They grow up so quickly and I'm certain that in a few years time when my boys are out all day at football, I'll really miss those early days where only mummy would do.

A very leisurely lunch

And my advent calendar treat today was a Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate.