Mummy to the rescue

Henry HATES bottles. He totally refuses to drink one now, he much prefers his mummy, none of this expressed milk rubbish!

On one hand it's beyond frustrating. It means I can't leave him for longer than a couple of hours at a time and I can't have the odd night off, no matter how tired I am or how willing Daddy is to take over.

On the other hand I love that he needs me and it's not just for milk. The milk in the bottle is exactly the same as the milk he gets from me, yet he doesn't want that. He wants the warmth of his Mummy and he wants the comfort that that brings. I love that I'm the only person in the world that can make everything ok. If he's cold, Mummy gets him a blanket. If he's hungry, Mummy feeds him. If he's hurting, Mummy stops the pain. He trusts me implicitly, I can always make everything ok.

From the moment that he was born I've worried about when he's all grown up and I can't make everything ok anymore. I joke that I want him to stay home and live with us forever. He is never allowed a girlfriend or to get married. 

I know that when he falls over and hurts his knees when he's 5, I'll be able to cuddle him, kiss away his tears and make everything ok. But I also know that when he doesn't get picked for the school football team, there's nothing I'll be able to say to make him feel better. I know that when a girl breaks his heart, I won't be able to do anything, he probably won't even want to talk about it with me. When he fails his driving test or doesn't get into the university that he's chosen, there will be nothing I can do to stop him hurting and as a Mummy that is the worst feeling in the world. I never want my baby to grow up.

I need to try to enjoy every second of being his super hero, I know it won't last forever. So when he looks up at me from his cot at 3am with his gorgeous brown eyes, instead of sighing at the prospect of yet another night feed, I need to pick him up, kiss his soft cheeks, breathe in his gorgeous scent and remember that one day I will give anything to be back here...just me and him in the middle of the night.