The perfect age gap...

Since having Henry I have spent the last 3 months thinking about numbers 2 and 3 (and 4 if Mr B can be persuaded!). The perfect age gap is much talked about and everyone has a different opinion on it. A lot of people believe that as close as possible is the way to go, but having just 13 months between me and my brother Simon I'm not so keen on the idea. I was quite awful to him for most of his childhood, I bit him, hit him and kicked him when I was 3, told him he was stupid for most of his primary school years and then dated his friends when I was 16!! We get on wonderfully now but quite honestly, we hated one another growing up. 

My other brother was 11 years older and to me, he was just the annoying babysitter when I was younger. He'd occasionally be sent my Mum to pick us up from birthday parties and the like once he could drive, and I was beyond embarrassed by it. I later found out that my friends thought it was cool but I certainly didn't. Again, we get on well now. We drive each other up the wall but I love him and his family more than any other.

So 1 year and 11 years I want to avoid...but what about the in between? 

A friend told me that she wanted to get 'the baby years' out of the way ASAP so wanted her 3 children born as close to each other as possible. There may be something wrong with me but I am loving these crazy baby days, despite the lack of sleep. I want them to last forever. I also want to appreciate every day with Henry. Really appreciate his first words, his first steps, his little personality emerging as he grows. I know that if I had another baby within a year or 2 I wouldn't be able to focus on him totally and that isn't what I want at all.

Having said all of that, sadly Rob's mum died recently and I feel that he is so young to not have a mum. I don't want to be a old mum and worry about dying when my children are young. I don't want to be the old mum at the school gates or the one that can't run around after her children anymore. I want my parents to appreciate their grandchildren and they are both in their early 60s now so I don't want to leave it too long. I see how much joy Henry brings them and want them to have the same relationship with our future children.

I have no answers, I'm hoping we'll just know when the time is right. But until then, a few pictures of me and my crazy siblings xxx